Planned Parenthood Defends Bill Cosby: ‘Sexual Assault Is Only 3% Of What He Does’ (Satire)

NEW YORK, NY—While almost nobody is willing to defend Bill Cosby any longer after he was convicted of sexual assault Thursday, the former television star and comedian found an ally in abortion provider Planned Parenthood.

President Cecile Richards came forward to claim that since sexual assault is only about 3% of what Bill Cosby performed over his long and illustrious career, the egregious offenses should be overlooked.

“Look, guys, let’s keep this in perspective,” she said in a press conference held at Planned Parenthood’s New York offices. “Cosby provided many needed services, like laughter, stand-up comedy, and a solid sitcom. You can’t paint him with the broad brush of ‘sexual offender’ just because a very small percentage of his activities were horrifying and abusive.”

In order to arrive at the cited 3% figure, Planned Parenthood staticions counted every seemingly insignificant interaction with a woman Cosby had, such as walking past a woman without sexually assaulting her or exchanging a few words with a co-worker. Then, they took the number of times he sexually assaulted women and divided it by the former figure, arriving at “approximately 3%.”

“You make people laugh for years, and then you sexually assault a few percent of the people you interact with, and suddenly you’re a sexual predator? Not on our watch,” Richards said.

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