1. Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch, and you’ll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3. Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.
5. Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
6. Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the phone will ring.
7. Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
8. Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, IT WILL!!!
9. Law of Bio-mechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
10. The Coffee Law – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss (or your wife) will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
11. Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent locker.
12. Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
13. Law of Logical Argument – Anything is possible especially IF you don’t know what you are talking about.
14. Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.
15. Law of Public Speaking- A closed mouth gathers no feet!
16. Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!
17. Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment with the doctor, by the time you get there, you’ll feel better. But don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.