New Flight Rules Amidst Stepped Up Security

The TSA and the FAA issued a security directive for U.S.-bound flights from overseas and all national flights within the continental United States, according to a transportation security official who spoke on condition of anonymity because the official was not authorized to speak publicly.

From now on all passengers will be required to remain seated during the last hour of every flight. Passengers needing to use the restrooms will be granted 5 minutes after holding up 1 finger for number one or 2 for number two. Additionally carry on baggage will no longer be accepted but all passengers will be allowed a toothbrush, a can of deodorant, silly putty and one roll of single-ply toilet tissue, all subject to careful inspection, x-ray and cat scan.

This announcement has not yet been approved by the Department of Homeland Security.

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