Starbucks Becomes America's Largest Public Restroom

by Tyler Durden
Fri, 05/11/2018 - 18:07

Starbucks suddenly finds itself in the hospitality business in the wake of the embarrassing PR nightmare in which two black men were denied the use of a bathroom and later arrested by police while waiting for an associate in a Philadelphia location.

Now, thanks to a new policy announced by executive chairman Howard Schultz at the Atlantic Council on Thursday, any and all who wish to unburden themselves or simply take an invigorating sink shower at any of Starbucks' nearly 27,000 locations - whether they are paying customers or not - can make use of Starbucks' repenting facilities. 

While Schultz told the audience "we don't want to become a public restroom," he added "But we're going to make the right decision a hundred percent of the time and give people the key, because we don't want anyone at Starbucks to feel as if we are not giving access to you to the bathroom because you are 'less than. 'We want you to be 'more than.'"

In short, Starbucks is now America's largest public restroom.

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Comment by james ha on May 13, 2018 at 10:14am

last year i was buying a lunch at a subway sandwich and they wouldn't let me use the restroom there.

Comment by Diana on May 12, 2018 at 4:48pm

Image result for starbucks restroom meme

Comment by Burbia on May 12, 2018 at 1:31am

Meanwhile, the comb over is thinking of a tweet to turn Amazon into a literal shit hole as well.


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