WHEN young Sydney mother Maddie asked her closed Facebook group of 26,186 mothers for some tasty alternatives to sandwiches for her husband’s lunches, she wasn’t expecting the backlash.
“I would love to hear what other mums make their hubbies for lunch and snacks throughout the work day,” she posted on Tuesday. “We are getting over sandwiches.”
You would think she’d asked for a hemlock recipe, judging by the torrent of scolding which erupted.
She was nothing but a “slave” and a “1950s housewife”.
She was “weird” and no one in their right mind or a “pink fit” would do something so demeaning as make their husband lunch. Let alone snacks.
“Your husband is a grown up and you’re not his mother”, wrote one member of the North Shore Mums Facebook group.
“My husband can make his own damn lunch.”
“I make my husband the same thing he makes me. Nothing!!”
“Stuff that, hubby is a grown man. I already do his laundry and keep his children alive.”
“Our advice is to stop making his lunches.”
“My role is childcare during working hours and that’s it.”
“He’s lucky if I decide to make dinner some nights”.
“I was married for twenty years and my favourite packed lunch for my husband was called a Get it Yourself with a side order of I’m not your mother.”
“Nope, I didn’t sign up for that at the altar. But in the spirit of being helpful… pickled onion stuffed in mandarins.”
Leader of the attack pack was Polly Dunning, daughter of professional feminist Jane Caro, and mother of a toddler about whom she infamously wrote last year, recounting her horror at finding out she was pregnant with a boy: “I felt sick at the thought of something male growing inside me.”
Dunning told Maddie: “You should pack him nothing for lunch. And you didn’t really ask for advice, you asked what other ‘mums’ pack their ‘hubbies’ (which, to me, is slightly weird phrasing, but whatever).”
Amid the cute pics of babies and birthday cakes, a toxic wave of man-hating feminism is seeping into the world of mothers online.
Where unhappy wives used to confine their bitching about husbands to a handful of girlfriends at Mosman cafes, a new generation of women is oversharing with vast networks of strangers.
On Wednesday, Maddie, 22, switched off comments, but not before page administrators deleted the nastiest.
“I’m actually so devastated about some of these comments,” wrote Maddie.
She and her husband are saving up to buy their first home and, “he works in an extremely physically demanding job, he does housework, he cooks dinner every second night... He gets up in the middle of the night with our Bub. He is a champion.
“The least I can do is make him a bloody sandwich. I love my man, he deserves to eat lunch and we can’t afford to eat out.”
Dunning responded a few hours later: “We are not, any of us, just mums. Mum is one of the many roles we have as women and a role that certainly does not include doing anything for our partners because we’re not his (or her) mother. Just struck me as weird to put making a husband’s lunch with the role of Mum.”
How did making a sandwich become a crime against women? Thankfully, for everything bad about social media there is an antidote, and an army of mums sprang to Maddie’s defence.
“Is it really a massive issue if Maddie wants to make her husband lunch?!?”
“Wow, so much hostility here... Surely nice actions like these get reciprocated in happy marriages.”
“Good on you! My husband is a builder, and his job is so physical, and he is so hands on at home! It’s the least I can do.”
“I never know why these posts always turn into a husband bashing.”
“I think it’s pretty crappy to assume someone is a slave or 1950s housewife for making lunch. Feminism is about choice.”
“All I can say is some women really must resent their husbands by their responses. Looking after your partner is the way to a happy marriage.”
“I’m so confused by the negativity on this post. I love making my hubby lunch… He does so much for us as a family and for my girls I see nothing wrong with wanting to look after your husband!!”
“If I can help in some small part to make his day easier, I will. His hours are ridiculous and if me doing this means he gets to hang out with our son more I am all for it!”
“He does so much for me and the kids. Making two sandwiches a day doesn’t put us in the dark ages.”
“Marriage is a partnership. If only more think like that there will be a lot less divorces in this world.”
This is the truth Baby Boomer feminists refuse to admit.
Consideration and give and take is the secret to a happy marriage, not treating the father of your children like an agent of the enemy patriarchy.
It’s time to end the war of the sexes, even if it means making the odd sandwich.