God Decides To Cut All Toxic People Out Of His Life; 7.5 Billion Dead

Of His Life; 7.5 Billion Dead

WORLD—In a fresh start for the year, the Almighty recently decided to cut all the negative, toxic people out of his life, several seraphim confirmed Wednesday, resulting in every single person on the planet perishing at once.

As part of His resolution, the Lord decided to take action to separate Himself from all 7.5 billion humans who, being sinful by nature, regularly choose to rebel against Him—and would no doubt continue to do so for the rest of their lives. He also ceased upholding the universe by the power of His will, and every molecule in the time-space continuum immediately ceased to exist, casting everything into a terrifying void of nothingness.

“After browsing a Huffington Post blog on relationship advice, God decided it was finally time to take a stand for His personal boundaries and no longer allow negative influences into his thought life,” one angel said in a press conference, to nobody in particular. “It’s not you, it’s Him. He just really needed to spend a little more time on self-care, not giving any toxic people the time of day anymore.”

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Comment by Burbia on August 6, 2019 at 2:50am

Rt on. Sounds like Scientology to me, but don't let me stop you from eliminating myself from your beliefs. 

Comment by Anti Everything on August 3, 2019 at 6:55pm

So glad I tuned in today! You are on a logical, humorous, common sense, silly, 'main stream media' HEY world, make it up as you go, ROLL. I'm not a 'god's sorta guy, but if I am "created in HIS image" and 'I AM' is a pissed off as I AM 7.5 is a perfect number to vape.

Comment by Twilight Zone on August 3, 2019 at 11:50am

From what I've read, it wouldn't be the first time.

Comment by James Roberts on August 3, 2019 at 11:43am
Comment by Burbia on August 3, 2019 at 10:58am

Thats a lot of SP's (suppressive person's).

Comment by Less Prone on August 3, 2019 at 4:58am

Divine wisdom.

"Destroying the New World Order"

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