Perfect for the holidays... Weaponized Candy Canes
Author: Mac Slavo- December 21st, 2010
It would have seemed ridiculous a decade ago, but in today’s terror prone world it’s become business as usual. The latest threat?
Candy Canes.
If reports are to be believed, administrators at Battlefield High School in Haymarket, VA punished ten members of the school’s Christmas Sweater Club for participating in the spreading of Christmas cheer, part of which included the tossing of small, individually wrapped candy canes to students.
According to accounts by several students, the school punished them with detention and cleanup work because the popular holiday treats pose a possible threat to others due to the ease of weaponizing the candy canes.
Skylar Torbett, a junior, says he was told, “candy canes are weapons because you can sharpen them with your mouth and stab people with them.” Zakk Rhine, another member of the club, was told that the candy canes could, “maliciously maim students with the intent to injure.”
School administrators deny the allegations, citing unruly behavior, littering and creating a disturbance. The official student “referrals” sent to parents made no mention of candy canes or the possibility that they could be used to maim or wound.
One can surmise that the students, being part of a cheer club, may have been somewhat excited about Christmas and may have engaged in some unruly behavior while tossing candy canes and spreading the Christmas spirit. However, the reports that candy cane weaponization may have played a roll in the punishments cannot be completely dismissed given that children in federally funded public schools across the nation have been subject to disciplinary action for things like holding a hand in the shape of a gun, drawing a weapon or even writing stories that contain hints of violence.
Now that the threat of candy canes as weapons has been identified, it’s only a matter of time before school administrators across the nation realize that disasters may loom around every corner and they’ve been there unbeknownst to most for quite some time. Pencils and pens, of course, should be first on the list, as they are already weaponized and can be easily transformed from educational tools to deadly weapons. Lockers, backpacks and even books may also potentially lead to violence and injury.
It would have seemed ridiculous a decade ago, but in today’s terror prone world it’s become business as usual. The latest threat?
Candy Canes.
If reports are to be believed, administrators at Battlefield High School in Haymarket, VA punished ten members of the school’s Christmas Sweater Club for participating in the spreading of Christmas cheer, part of which included the tossing of small, individually wrapped candy canes to students.
According to accounts by several students, the school punished them with detention and cleanup work because the popular holiday treats pose a possible threat to others due to the ease of weaponizing the candy canes.
Skylar Torbett, a junior, says he was told, “candy canes are weapons because you can sharpen them with your mouth and stab people with them.” Zakk Rhine, another member of the club, was told that the candy canes could, “maliciously maim students with the intent to injure.”
School administrators deny the allegations, citing unruly behavior, littering and creating a disturbance. The official student “referrals” sent to parents made no mention of candy canes or the possibility that they could be used to maim or wound.
One can surmise that the students, being part of a cheer club, may have been somewhat excited about Christmas and may have engaged in some unruly behavior while tossing candy canes and spreading the Christmas spirit. However, the reports that candy cane weaponization may have played a roll in the punishments cannot be completely dismissed given that children in federally funded public schools across the nation have been subject to disciplinary action for things like holding a hand in the shape of a gun, drawing a weapon or even writing stories that contain hints of violence.
Now that the threat of candy canes as weapons has been identified, it’s only a matter of time before school administrators across the nation realize that disasters may loom around every corner and they’ve been there unbeknownst to most for quite some time. Pencils and pens, of course, should be first on the list, as they are already weaponized and can be easily transformed from educational tools to deadly weapons. Lockers, backpacks and even books may also potentially lead to violence and injury.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Southern Patriot on
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Oh for Christs sake! How much further can these jackass school board members go in turning a public school into a prison? Might as well show up naked because you can strangle someone with your underwear. Remember the cub scout with the swiss army knife? The 2nd grade kid who drew a violent picture in Florida? How about the kids who wore American flag t-shirts on cinco de mayo? My kids are out of the slave training as soon as I move! They haven't learned a damn uesfull thing that I haven't taught them anyway so what's the point?
Hell, when I went to school every kid had a pocket knife and nobody got shanked in the hallway. We were all farmers and life was simple. Now it's "be politically correct", "it's ok to be gay in kindergarten", "God is bad", "go to college and get in debt before you graduate".....And for what? We are raising a generation of pussies who will be in debt up to their eyeballs with a degree that isn't worth the paper it is printed on! But at least they will respect the feelings of their fellow noncontributing lemmings.
Way to go America!
I'm so glad to see that our education system is the 147th best in the developed world. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy like a good paradigm loving cleptocrat/republi-con.
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And you're right James....It is only a matter of time before they outlaw books in schools because they could be weapons....It's not like they use them to learn anyway!
Half the books that were required reading when I was a kid have been outlawed already.
Mark Twain said nigger so Tom Sawyer had to be ececuted on domestic terrorism charges.
Catcher in the Rye might make a kid hate school so it had to go .
My daughter is in the first grade and couldn't even recite the alphabet or do simple arithmetic after kindergarten! At least she knew what Clifford the big red dog was up to each day. Makes me happy to see my tax dollars at work. When I asked what the hell was going on, her teacher told me to my face that she was not allowed to teach the kids!!
The lesson plans come from the government now and they have no control over them!
They are not even being taught anything at all let alone anything of substance.
Who really needs school anymore?
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Permalink Reply by bryan l on
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hey lets all wear those blow up sumo suits. that way we can have our candy canes and throw them too.
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Thanks for your contribution Bryan.
I'm glad to see that you are equally concerned with the state of our education system.
I hope to see you at the next pta meeting. Perhaps you can wear one of the inflatable suits that you spent time looking for a picture of rather than responding to the information presented in the post with some semblance (The outward appearance or apparent form of something) of intelligence.
But at least you helped to reaffirm my conviction that public schools have gone to shit in the past 20 years, and for that, I thank you.
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tac edge. that's kind of what i was going for. sorry, i don't have kids. but i do have a sense of humor.
it helps when i feel like going on a rant like you did. not trying to say don't do it. because you did it for me. why should i type something you already did.
do me a favor and try to crack a smile. you are not alone.
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Sorry.
It sure as hell feels like I'm alone lately.
I'm living in an absolute hell full of people who have no clue what goes on in their own back yards let alone any issues that actually matter. My wife, who knows how bad everything is getting, would rater just sit back and let the world come crashing around her than be bothered to make an effort.
It just blows my mind how people have lost all concern for anything anymore.
I don't think I have cracked a smile in months to be honest. I'm burnt out,
There are days that I wish it would all just happen already. I'm so sick of the baby steps to tyranny. I keep thinking, what the hell are they waiting for. If the dollar crashed tomorrow and the government declared martial law, half of America would be more concerned with whether their food stamp cards and x-box's still worked than with the implications o f what just occurred.
I think that is the whole point. They want the majority as stupid as possible so that anyone who might be deemed a threat just alienates themselves from the rest of them. God knows how many times I have thought about just packing up and moving to the middle of nowhere just to get away from the madness that surrounds us.
Oh well, it's not your fault or anyone else's for that matter.
Sorry.
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