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  • Troy McLachlan

    Transformers: Dark of the Moon - mini review

    I’ve just got back from witnessing the mechanical slam-fest that is Transformers: Dark of the moon, the supposed #1 movie in the world at this time.  I’m sure there is a load of Illuminati/NWO subtext packed into this (revelations about moon bases and ancient artefacts maybe?), but for the purposes of this comment I’m going to focus on the subject of: Human transmutation.

    But first, how did I like the movie? (and no, this is not a plot spoiler).

    Ha Ha Ha Ha!

    Actually I’m serious,… there are some very funny moments in this film that I did not expect to find in a franchise whose first two instalments I completely passed on.  For me, price of admission was justified by John Malkovich at his pure best as Shia LeBauof’s anally retentive corporate boss and the superb actor playing the paranoiac character Wang – their stare-down in the men’s loos is a classic!  When one of Malkovich’s employees supposedly suicides by falling from the corporate tower and splatters the nice and tidy corporate commons area, only Malkovich could deliver clean-up instructions to LeBaouf with the lines:

    . . . He’s in the bistro,… he’s in the bamboo,… he’s on the marble,… Understand?. . .*

    In fact, when you factor the manic John Turturro into the equation the only thing missing here is Christopher Walkin joining him and Malkovich for an onset obsession session – something like:

    Malkovich:  (angry) These. Giant. Robots. Are. Morons!  They appear uninvited for dinner dressed as last year’s electric appliance and then have the ill manners to ask how the chicken is prepared! (screams)
    Walkin:  (wincing and distracted)  Errr,… the bastards!  I just tell the chicken that it's gonna die.
    Turturro:  (snarls and rolls eyes manically) Giant robots are hot!


    Yep.  That would have been cool in my book.  But it was not to be and Malkovich’s presence is all too brief before we are treated to the usual muscle-head, booty-waving destruction and mayhem that always seems to be the solution when the world needs saving.  The only other ‘acting’ presence of note was the stilted appearance of Apollo 11 astronaut Buzz Aldrin who has recently been making the Internet rounds with his blurted assertion that there is a monolith on the Martian moon Phobos.  Cue 2001: A Space Odyssey.

    “Seems we have a transformer problem.”

    The above line is out of David Lynch’s classic TV series Twin Peaks, one of the more alchemical television journeys audiences were treated to in the late 80s and early 90s.  David Lynch was like Stanley Kubrick in that he recognised that humanity was undergoing a kind of transformation process that might not be working out too well.  Both directors explored this theme in their movies and for those of you who might have read my take on Jay Weidner’s analysis of Kubrick’s work will know that it probably cost Kubrick his life.

    The process of transformation is at the heart of alchemy, and the occult and elitist groups trying to transform human society into their own image take alchemy very seriously.  The dream of producing a machine-like population of slaves has long been a feature of elitist thinking and the popular Transformer franchise could be just the latest form of mass programming aimed at making this concept palatable.  I can remember Transformers as a cartoon when I was a kid, so this particular programme has been around for a while.

    Transformers, cyborgs, terminators, SkyNet, six million dollar men; all these entertainment successes have cultivated a meme of human advancement through enhanced technology.  It is very closely related to eugenics and a Malthusian view of human population growth.  Kubrick was exploring the same concept in his film A.I. which he was unable to finish before his untimely death.

    Transformers: Dark of the Moon is the usual special effects laden entertainment that Hollywood so excels at.  It has some light comedic moments and some very irritating LeBaouf screaming and yelling in other parts.  And, yes boys, the love interest is displayed to her greatest advantage in true Michael Bey style.  Probably the most sinister moment of the film though, is the final Optimus Prime monologue where there is a reference to betrayal by former allies, all delivered as we gaze upon a tattered stars and stripes.

    Yes people, TPTB want you to know that the American people better stick with the programme, even as the rest of the world seems to be pulling out of the equation.

    Next up:  Captain America – see the transformation of courageous skinny American kid into a chemically enhanced superhero.  I can hardly wait.  

    * Quote from memory, so don’t hold it against me if it’s not word perfect.

  • truth

    this group subject to termination :)