“Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It” Admits Vatican
A SPOKESPERSON for the Vatican has officially announced today that the second coming of Jesus, the only son of the God, may not happen now after all, but urged followers to still continue with their faith, regardless of the news.
Cardinal Giorgio Salvadore told WWN that this years 1,981st anniversary is to be the Vatican’s last in regards to waiting for the Lord to return to Earth.
“We just feel Jesus is not coming back by the looks of it.” he said. “It’s been ages like. He’s probably flat out doing other really good things for people somewhere else.”
Nearly two thousand years ago, Jesus promised his disciples that he would come again in chapter John 14:1-3 of the bible: “There are many homes up where my Father lives, and I am going to prepare them for your coming. When everything is ready, then I will come and get you, so that you can always be with Me where I am. If this weren’t so, I would tell you plainly”
The Vatican defended Jesus’ broken promise, claiming “he was probably drinking wine” at the time when he made the comments.
“Having the ability to turn water into wine had its ups and its downs.” added Cardinal Salvadore. “We all make promises we can’t keep when we’re drunk. Jesus was no different.”
The church said it will now focus attentions on rebuilding its reputation around the world, but will keep an optimistic mind for the savior’s second coming.
Comment
-
Comment by Central Scrutinizer on May 31, 2014 at 9:28pm
-
lmao...might be
-
Comment by truth on May 31, 2014 at 9:25pm
-
is that litle wood? :)
-
-
-
-
sources are required for all post that you did not write yourself btw waterfordwhispersnews.com]
-
-
PS - the tone of the article is satire most assuredly
-
-
IMO, many folks confuse Christianity's different sects and beliefs. The second coming is a particularly American phenomenon, which has been mostly ignored in common Catholic teachings.
-
-
they know the truth as well ;)
"Destroying the New World Order"
THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING THE SITE!
Latest Activity
- Top News
- Everything
"The Warriors is one of my favorite movies. I couldn't help but laugh at this spoof."
"cheeki kea, You might want to see predictions made by Robert Welch in 1957 and 1974 stating that…"
"cheeki kea, good points. We have a world full of twisted allied agendas that seem contradictory,…"
Ghislaine Maxwell & The Secret "Shadow" 9/11 Commission? | John Kiriakou
In this gripping excerpt from the Julien Dorey podcast, former CIA officer and whistleblower John Kiriakou reacts to a leaked email from 2003. The document r...
"Greetings to you Holyroller very awesome you've joined up with us all. I know you'll find…"
"Yes it's a sad and sorry situation we see evolving here. On one front and it's a large…"
When the Communists Take Over America!...Famous 1957 Anti-Communist Movie
"I remember this when I was a little seeing it on TV years after it was filmed and it scared me even…"
When the Communists Take Over America!...Famous 1957 Anti-Communist Movie
Starring Jack Webb and Robert Conrad, this 1957 movie by the United States Armed Forces Information Agency is perhaps the best known anti-communist movie eve...
Are the End Times Drawing Near?
Are we seeing the gradual fulfillment of the Battle of Armageddon? Think of it. The US and Israel…See More
Catherine Fitts: Epstein, CIA Black Budget, the Control Grid, and the Banks’ Role in War
Programmable digital currency is the final piece of the global control grid that’s finally snapping into place. Catherine Austin Fitts on how to defeat it. C...
Ключові слова в тексті: як органічно їх вписати в статтю
Що таке ключові слова і чому вони важливіКлючові слова — це слова або фрази, які користувачі…See More
© 2026 Created by truth.
Powered by
You need to be a member of 12160 Social Network to add comments!
Join 12160 Social Network