“Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It” Admits Vatican
A SPOKESPERSON for the Vatican has officially announced today that the second coming of Jesus, the only son of the God, may not happen now after all, but urged followers to still continue with their faith, regardless of the news.
Cardinal Giorgio Salvadore told WWN that this years 1,981st anniversary is to be the Vatican’s last in regards to waiting for the Lord to return to Earth.
“We just feel Jesus is not coming back by the looks of it.” he said. “It’s been ages like. He’s probably flat out doing other really good things for people somewhere else.”
Nearly two thousand years ago, Jesus promised his disciples that he would come again in chapter John 14:1-3 of the bible: “There are many homes up where my Father lives, and I am going to prepare them for your coming. When everything is ready, then I will come and get you, so that you can always be with Me where I am. If this weren’t so, I would tell you plainly”
The Vatican defended Jesus’ broken promise, claiming “he was probably drinking wine” at the time when he made the comments.
“Having the ability to turn water into wine had its ups and its downs.” added Cardinal Salvadore. “We all make promises we can’t keep when we’re drunk. Jesus was no different.”
The church said it will now focus attentions on rebuilding its reputation around the world, but will keep an optimistic mind for the savior’s second coming.
Comment
-
Comment by Central Scrutinizer on May 31, 2014 at 9:28pm
-
lmao...might be
-
Comment by truth on May 31, 2014 at 9:25pm
-
is that litle wood? :)
-
-
-
-
sources are required for all post that you did not write yourself btw waterfordwhispersnews.com]
-
-
PS - the tone of the article is satire most assuredly
-
-
IMO, many folks confuse Christianity's different sects and beliefs. The second coming is a particularly American phenomenon, which has been mostly ignored in common Catholic teachings.
-
-
they know the truth as well ;)
"Destroying the New World Order"
THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING THE SITE!
Latest Activity
- Top News
- Everything
The Proper Definition Rather Than Democrat Rhetoric
Unless you’ve been living under a rock or watching mainstream media, allowing it to think for you,…See More
Peter Sellers - The Party (opening scene)
HQ HD "Does that include television sir ?" ... is still the best trolling paradigm in a movie.Support this channel: https://www.patreon.com/MusicPoints#Pet...
"Cheeki kea, I pray that the insanity doesn't deepen and there's been an attack by some 18…"
Disgraced Former CNN Anchor Don Lemon Arrested
No longer an employed journalist, Don Lemon had been seen with far left agitator, Nekima Levy…See More
"Good poem for these times. I think it's only going to get worse though as we enter into the…"
Our Crazy Modern World
I'll be your host tonight in our first episode of "Our Crazy Modern World". Join us now!Apparently…See More
"What a bummer. Can't tell thie 'dead' guy to eat shit now."
2DF36465-A826-443C-A3A8-6638BC1D4FFA
"Venezuela under Chavez had cut ties with the IMF and World Bank. He had suggested that the US had…"
G_LrzqtXMAAhT7w
"Derelict of duty should be reason for removal of these judges. That would go against what is in…"
© 2026 Created by truth.
Powered by
You need to be a member of 12160 Social Network to add comments!
Join 12160 Social Network