“Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It” Admits Vatican
A SPOKESPERSON for the Vatican has officially announced today that the second coming of Jesus, the only son of the God, may not happen now after all, but urged followers to still continue with their faith, regardless of the news.
Cardinal Giorgio Salvadore told WWN that this years 1,981st anniversary is to be the Vatican’s last in regards to waiting for the Lord to return to Earth.
“We just feel Jesus is not coming back by the looks of it.” he said. “It’s been ages like. He’s probably flat out doing other really good things for people somewhere else.”
Nearly two thousand years ago, Jesus promised his disciples that he would come again in chapter John 14:1-3 of the bible: “There are many homes up where my Father lives, and I am going to prepare them for your coming. When everything is ready, then I will come and get you, so that you can always be with Me where I am. If this weren’t so, I would tell you plainly”
The Vatican defended Jesus’ broken promise, claiming “he was probably drinking wine” at the time when he made the comments.
“Having the ability to turn water into wine had its ups and its downs.” added Cardinal Salvadore. “We all make promises we can’t keep when we’re drunk. Jesus was no different.”
The church said it will now focus attentions on rebuilding its reputation around the world, but will keep an optimistic mind for the savior’s second coming.
Comment
-
Comment by Central Scrutinizer on May 31, 2014 at 9:28pm
-
lmao...might be
-
Comment by truth on May 31, 2014 at 9:25pm
-
is that litle wood? :)
-
-
-
-
sources are required for all post that you did not write yourself btw waterfordwhispersnews.com]
-
-
PS - the tone of the article is satire most assuredly
-
-
IMO, many folks confuse Christianity's different sects and beliefs. The second coming is a particularly American phenomenon, which has been mostly ignored in common Catholic teachings.
-
-
they know the truth as well ;)
"Destroying the New World Order"
THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING THE SITE!
Latest Activity
- Top News
- Everything
Always Wondering
The face of reality pressed against your window paneIs it engineered or is it real rain?So, you…See More
how to doanload mp3 online?
An MP3 downloader is a useful online tool that allows users to convert and download their favorite…See More
Another incredibly Stupid!! What, no mirrors?
"Personally , I go for the more classic forms of cosmetic surgery! "
Another incredibly Stupid!! What, no mirrors?
"When the problem is inside, it causes transformations like this. I like the original better. Maybe…"
YouTube Downloader Tools You Never Knew Existed
A YouTube downloader is an online tool or software that helps convert YouTube videos into…See More
Experimenter - Official Trailer
Like on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/experimenterfilmYale University, 1961. Stanley Milgram (Peter Sarsgaard) designs a psychology experiment that stil...
How Did the Soviets First Discover the SR-71 Blackbird?
Although President Lydon Johnson announced the development of the Lockheed SR-71 in 1964 which…See More
"Personally, I don't consider Don Lemon or people like him to be journalists at all. They are…"
The Farmer vs the Billionaire — Jeremy Clarkson Says NO to Bill Gates’ £100 Million Deal | UK News
OFFICIAL NOTICE: This channel is NOT Jeremy Clarkson, is not affiliated with him, and does not represent his official views or Diddly Squat Farm. This is an ...
© 2026 Created by truth.
Powered by
You need to be a member of 12160 Social Network to add comments!
Join 12160 Social Network