“Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It” Admits Vatican
A SPOKESPERSON for the Vatican has officially announced today that the second coming of Jesus, the only son of the God, may not happen now after all, but urged followers to still continue with their faith, regardless of the news.
Cardinal Giorgio Salvadore told WWN that this years 1,981st anniversary is to be the Vatican’s last in regards to waiting for the Lord to return to Earth.
“We just feel Jesus is not coming back by the looks of it.” he said. “It’s been ages like. He’s probably flat out doing other really good things for people somewhere else.”
Nearly two thousand years ago, Jesus promised his disciples that he would come again in chapter John 14:1-3 of the bible: “There are many homes up where my Father lives, and I am going to prepare them for your coming. When everything is ready, then I will come and get you, so that you can always be with Me where I am. If this weren’t so, I would tell you plainly”
The Vatican defended Jesus’ broken promise, claiming “he was probably drinking wine” at the time when he made the comments.
“Having the ability to turn water into wine had its ups and its downs.” added Cardinal Salvadore. “We all make promises we can’t keep when we’re drunk. Jesus was no different.”
The church said it will now focus attentions on rebuilding its reputation around the world, but will keep an optimistic mind for the savior’s second coming.
Comment
-
Comment by Central Scrutinizer on May 31, 2014 at 9:28pm
-
lmao...might be
-
Comment by truth on May 31, 2014 at 9:25pm
-
is that litle wood? :)
-
-
-
-
sources are required for all post that you did not write yourself btw waterfordwhispersnews.com]
-
-
PS - the tone of the article is satire most assuredly
-
-
IMO, many folks confuse Christianity's different sects and beliefs. The second coming is a particularly American phenomenon, which has been mostly ignored in common Catholic teachings.
-
-
they know the truth as well ;)
"Destroying the New World Order"
THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING THE SITE!
Latest Activity
- Top News
- Everything
The Latest Craze
Their demonic little waysThe news is just a biased arrayThe higher taxes they want you to…See More
A Banished Poet
"An interesting snippet from world poetry day this year to learn of the first poet excited from the…"
FB_IMG_1772349325558
"Good Point! Our Indo European friends in Iran gave the devil a good write down ( and Jesus a…"
How much money makes anyone have a god complex?
Trump makes a meme of himself as Jesus Christ. Soros says he fancied himself a sort of god.In 2004,…See More
"Tragically funny how easily patriotism dissolves when money is involved! "
"Yes and they are at this time allowing Epic City, a muslim wet dream to be constructed near Dallas…"
"Muslim celebration at Grand Prairie water park canceled after Gov. Abbott threatens to pull city…"
"I guess with coming solar flares that sent societies underground before arrives in the near future…"
'Showbiz' Don to Release Xenu Upon the Public
New York Post says the other files will be released Friday. If there ever was a Disclosure from…See More
© 2026 Created by truth.
Powered by
You need to be a member of 12160 Social Network to add comments!
Join 12160 Social Network