“Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It” Admits Vatican
A SPOKESPERSON for the Vatican has officially announced today that the second coming of Jesus, the only son of the God, may not happen now after all, but urged followers to still continue with their faith, regardless of the news.
Cardinal Giorgio Salvadore told WWN that this years 1,981st anniversary is to be the Vatican’s last in regards to waiting for the Lord to return to Earth.
“We just feel Jesus is not coming back by the looks of it.” he said. “It’s been ages like. He’s probably flat out doing other really good things for people somewhere else.”
Nearly two thousand years ago, Jesus promised his disciples that he would come again in chapter John 14:1-3 of the bible: “There are many homes up where my Father lives, and I am going to prepare them for your coming. When everything is ready, then I will come and get you, so that you can always be with Me where I am. If this weren’t so, I would tell you plainly”
The Vatican defended Jesus’ broken promise, claiming “he was probably drinking wine” at the time when he made the comments.
“Having the ability to turn water into wine had its ups and its downs.” added Cardinal Salvadore. “We all make promises we can’t keep when we’re drunk. Jesus was no different.”
The church said it will now focus attentions on rebuilding its reputation around the world, but will keep an optimistic mind for the savior’s second coming.
Comment
-
Comment by Central Scrutinizer on May 31, 2014 at 9:28pm
-
lmao...might be
-
Comment by truth on May 31, 2014 at 9:25pm
-
is that litle wood? :)
-
-
-
-
sources are required for all post that you did not write yourself btw waterfordwhispersnews.com]
-
-
PS - the tone of the article is satire most assuredly
-
-
IMO, many folks confuse Christianity's different sects and beliefs. The second coming is a particularly American phenomenon, which has been mostly ignored in common Catholic teachings.
-
-
they know the truth as well ;)
"Destroying the New World Order"
THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING THE SITE!
Latest Activity
- Top News
- Everything
Jerusalem Syndrome - Israel/Palestine
August 2006For some, visiting Jerusalem brings them a little too close to God. Dozens of tourists develop 'Jerusalem Syndrome', believing they have a messian...
So you Don't Think Communist China is Buying Off the Democrat Party?
California Democrats Just Joined Hands With Communists Funded From ShanghaiPosted on …See More
681373888_994247376374814_9118727954735788138_n
"But Wait Folks... There's even more, even more than more in this ugly situation. A story of…"
"Ning is working on theproblem. Their reply:
"Hello, Thank you for notifying us.We are…"
The Day of the Dolphin (1973) Original Trailer [FHD]
Directed by Mike Nichols. With George C. Scott, Trish Van Devere and Paul Sorvino.The Day of the Dolphin Blu-ray : https://amzn.to/3W9bfbxThe Day of the Dolp...
"I issued a ticked concerning your report. "The rgeular format is not appearing on the…"
Report an Issue
"The rgeular format is not appearing on the page and I can't add contwent unless its limited…"
"cheeki kea, you are so right. We live in a world where even art has been lost to the savagery of…"
"I seriously doubt Trump has a God complex as he is merely treying to save this country, but people…"
© 2026 Created by truth.
Powered by
You need to be a member of 12160 Social Network to add comments!
Join 12160 Social Network