To adjust your TV. We are in control! We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We will transform your clouded perceptions into crystal clarity! For the next hour sit back quietly and prepare to be purged of leftist bullshit! 

Discriminating against aliens is a grave form of savagery! Reconsisder while you can people of the earth! 

Why were the politicians in Washington DC allowed to drain Medicare? Now I'll never be popular at parties! 

It seems someone put fentanyl in my mixed drink! It feels like my head is swelling! 

These new Star Wars light saber toys really work well! I just blew the neighbor's head completelly off! 

Okay Trump! I got something for you and your MAGA bunch! Say hi to my little friend! 

Hey, did you forget to schedule a free inspection with your local exterminator this week? Remember get free quotes now! 

So this is where Fauci was keeping the wet market virus strain that they started the plannedemic with! 

I am a Democrat, but I'm not an asshole! I'm not an asshole! 

I appears that our Republican friends are turning the US economy around and finding all of our fraudulent tax embezzlement schemes! What the hell do we do now?

We robots only take our orders from the Chinese government so please stand aside before I get violent! 

Who the hell says the Covid 19 Vaccines cause DNA mutations and hostility? I feel just fine! 

I'm here to serve Hunter Biden with an arrest warrant and don't give me any bullshit about his lalptop being falsified evidence there was his DNA evidence all over it from dried sperm specimen! 

You white people been keeping us Black folk down was what the Democrats done told me to say! Now where's that increase in welfare you promised?

I am now an official member of the Democrat Party. I will not listen to reason. I will support all leftist rhetoric no matter how stupid and asinine, and Il will riot in the streets whenever I am urged to. Now please give me my fentanyl candy! 

Now that you've had that brain transplant Mr. President you will tell the people that less is more, that suffering is honorable for a worthy cause, that property ownership is bad, and thinking like an asshole is good! 

Like, I'm not worried about such things as economic feasibility, future job growth, or social equanimity, like I'm just trying to figure where on my body I want my next tattoo! 

You may look like a freak to everyone else but you're kinky enough for me! 

Yes, I know you're Joe Biden, but you can't find your ass with a map and besides that, your body sized diaper you wear is a dead giveaway that you're mentally incompetent! 

If you think that Democrat leadership could actually give a shit about the American people, you better guess again Pal! 

We now return you to your regular programming as we take you from the shit show you just witnessed to your living rooms. Until next time. Goodnight!