The glint of his hat made of blood stained tin
He'll make you regret you ever sinned
Like an animal trap you'll end up skinned
Yes, Captain Reality with goggles steal rimmed,

You'd swear your future has been dimmed
You'd swear your Christmas tree has been trimmed
You'll ask your wife, "where have you been?"
Captain Reality above the din chops off another shark's fin,

It's been a rougher day than you could have known
Depression has become bad to the bone
The poison seeds that have been sown
Oh Captain Reality how you have grown,

These are the nightmares you haven't seen
This is where Captain Reality can get really mean
You never knew there could be such a fiend
Captain Reality supervises the crime scene,

It's the dawning of another grim day
You'll wish Captain Reality had passed away
But, instead he's here to stay
Captain Reality enters the fray!

You couldn't have seen this coming
Like a deadly virus thats humming
Captain Reality like a guitarist strumming
The agony has become even more numbing,

Thought Captain Reality would finally give in
Then my plane went into a tail spin
I stood up straight and saluted him
And I got kicked right in the shin,

Captain Reality will always win
He's God's rogue assassin
He'll grab you by the neck and lift up by the chin
That's when the tragedy begins,

Oh my Lord please make him go
Found my dog frozen in the snow
It must have been seven below
Captain Reality wipes away that youthful glow,

As a boy I looked forward to holidays
After a few short years I had to say
God bring back my yesterdays
Sadly, Captain Reality stood in the way.