Home invasion is their specialty

But they didn’t foresee running into Captain Reality

He pops off several rounds energetically

Afterwards he doffs his cap and strolls away discreetly,

The punks are vandalizing Elon’s dealers at night

Captain Reality takes them down with hardly a fight

Using Aikido he disables them despite

They’re cowardly efforts now broken bones are their plight,

Heaving firebombs at Tesla’s in the parking lot

They have no idea what Captain Reality’s got

His sniper rifle takes them down with precise shots

Now they’re buried in a grave pushing up Forget-Me-Nots!

MS-13 member physically abusing his wife

Captain Reality beats him within an inch of his life

Human traffickers causing chaos and strife

Captain Reality carves them up with his military knife,

Terrorist demonstrations on campus grounds

Captain Reality laughs while firing 45 caliber rounds

All of the trouble makers falling down

Amazingly no terrorist supporters can be found,

Democrat protesters assaulting the I.C.E. gate

But to escape Captain Reality’s wrath it’s much too late

Tear gas and Tasers forces them to capitulate

For Captain Reality it’s a memorable date!