You’ve been elected to the highest office of the nation
Your policies have restored prosperity and job creation
Captain Reality is there to ensure you’ll get loads of frustration
Too many indoctrinated fools who can’t resist the temptation,

The kids you are working so hard to raise
Go to public schools who give sodomy praise
Captain Reality masterfully orchestrates the malaise
He carries around a fetus in a jar made for mayonnaise!

Your wife to be professed her love for you forever
But Captain Reality wags his finger never oh never
Feminism has converted a sweet girl into bitter and clever
Now she doesn’t need a man your union is severed!

What was love? Did you ever really know?
Captain Reality laughs out loud it was a comedy show!
You’ve got a Bigfoot show and you’re making lots of doe
Never thought you’d meet one when the full moon glows,

Then the beast jumps out of the trees and grabs you by the nose
Captain Reality’s sadistic sense of humor shows
As the Sasquatch snaps your neck nice and slow
Just another missing person’s file as the case load grows!

Just another meth head living for a fix
Captain Reality has a whole new bag of tricks
One of your victims hits you in the head with a brick!
A policeman finishes you off with a Glock 45 nice and slick,

You’re a member of ANTIFA with your cowardly crowd
You go to protests shoving and shouting aloud
Captain Reality just loves fools who are too proud
It took just a single grenade to vaporize you into a cloud,

Your buddy just got him a nice swamp boat
So you go out fishing deep in and remote
Captain Reality just loves a sacrificial goat
After the alligator got you your body began to bloat,

You’re a high powered exec harassing all the women
To you all they’re good for is a soiree on the linen
Captain Reality will take you where you’ve never been
A jealous husband armed to the teeth comes storming in!