Reach for your gun, Cowboy, your last draw
But Captain Reality just hit you in the jaw!
Out on the lake but there was movement you never saw
Suddenly you’re poked in the back by a Grizzly’s claw,

A pleasure cruise is just what you need
Maybe a little romance and you can sow the seed
An engine room fire and the crew panics indeed
Lifeboats are all taken it’s time to bleed,

Captain Reality grins knows the trouble you’re in
Tragedy is never a sin to him
Don’t get too close better watch yourself Jim!
Captain Reality knows your chances are slim.

A romantic dinner by candle light
But the flame tips over in the dead of the night
Smoke and flame and the two of you take flight
Captain Reality watches as your house burns bright,

There’s more than meets the eye to this affair
The mad husband’s got a gun and he’s pulling out his hair
He’s tracked the two of you down to your despair
Captain Reality looks on with an amused stare,

Out on an evening walk for some fresh air
You see a pulsating light way up there
It’s an alien abduction time you better prepare
Captain Reality does medical probes with a certain flare,

You’re holiday shopping at the department store
You’re crossing the street headed for your car door
But there’s an idiot smoking his tires with horse power galore
Captain Reality just stepped on you like a bug on the floor,

Sunday Church Captain Reality promises you won’t be bored
When an armed mad man comes through the door
Last place you could expect the Angel of Death’s sword
It appears you’ll have an impromptu meeting with the Lord.