So maybe time to break out of this malaise
Take your life to a new phase
Captain Reality leads you into a dark maze
Introducing you to this deadly game he plays,

Swashbuckling into your complicated life
Maybe you’ll get slashed by a switchblade knife
Or get pulled over by Officer Barney Fife
Captain Reality makes sure you’re headed for strife,

You’ve got a new Babe she’s looking good
Never knew about her connections to the hood
She got a hold of your credit card and went on a spree
She got her instructions from Captain Reality,

It’s all too much so you get on a passenger jet
Planning to go somewhere you haven’t been to yet
The terrorists brought on all the weapons they could get
They’re the most psychotic human beings you ever met,

You’re trying to escape the world in a deep sleep
Captain Reality is right there counting your sheep
He’s the criminal who pulled a gun on you without a peep
That’s when you hit a land mine driving your jeep!

You wake up from the dream covered in sweat
Makes you wonder why you haven’t succumbed just yet
Captain Reality got you to lose all your money on a bet
Was it the Captain who sent you a Black Mamba as a pet?

Excited over the New Year’s Party that you planned
She looks good in her bikini all nice and tanned
But there’s a problem her occupation is legally banned
The Vice Squad is at your door they’re armed and well manned,

Captain Reality unfortunately is here to stay
And when you least expect it he’ll steal your breath away
Being human on planet earth is the price you pay
Your gamble on life just as fragile as wet clay.