Comrade Rebels, there is a considerable disparity amid the Republic when it comes to authoritarian dictates and various State Ministries of Covid Compliance.

In recent developments NYC Comrade Minister DeBlasio has indicated he is allowing masked citizens to return to restrooms in restaurants which were previously forbidden.  This is helpful progress to comply with the frequent hand-washing dictate; however, do not actually pause while in the restaurant venue proper or the Rona will apparently attack.

Perhaps these high-minded regulations from the New York Ministry are helping to drive people from New York to Florida where Rebel Alliance leader Ron DeSantis holds a more pragmatic perspective.

According to Florida officials the sunshine state strain of the Rona virus is not distinguishing between targets standing at a bar with a beer and targets sitting outside at a table with a beer.  Apparently this is a conundrum not fully appreciated within the official COVID policy of the Minnesota, Michigan, California, Pennsylvania, New York and DC-based compliance authorities.

The northern regional ministry also indicates the virus in some states is triggered by rebellious activity at certain times of the evening. As a consequence many municipalities have curfews and hours of operation to avoid the greater Rona threat later in the evening.

WASHINGTON DC — With coronavirus numbers setting new daily records, the nation’s capital is temporarily suspending all indoor dining in restaurants over the holidays. Washington Mayor Muriel Bowser issued an executive order Friday night banning indoor dining for three weeks, starting Wednesday at 10 p.m. and extending through Jan. 15.

PHOENIX – Arizona residents are being told to “shrink their circles” of personal contacts and gatherings to help the state’s health care system handle coronavirus cases.

NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Republican Gov. Bill Lee has declined to require a mask order. Only a dozen other states lack a statewide mask requirement.

Interestingly, according to the AP “among the first 215,000 people to get vaccinated in the U.S., fewer than 1.5% of them had problems that left them unable to perform their normal activities or required medical care.”  The current fatality rate for the Rona is around 0.7% so if the statistics hold up, twice as many people are injured by the vaccination as will likely suffer from the worst part of the virus.

Comrades, it is also good to know our proactive COVID ministry has mandated social distancing at the Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race in Alaska.

Should a musher come across another team on the 1,000 mile expanse of isolated wilderness, said mushers will be required to put on a mask.

Obviously our nation breathes a collective sigh of relief for the hours of painstaking debate that went into the Rona preparations in the northern tundra. With the race scheduled in March 2021, decisions were coming down to the wire.  Additionally, to ensure the safety of the polar inhabitants, each musher will be required to test for Rona exposure midway through the race.

MICHIGAN –  Restaurants must remain closed; however, “casinos, movie theaters, bowling alleys and similar venues will be allowed to reopen on Monday, with some restrictions in place.”   What type of restrictions?… “Indoor ice and roller rinks are allowed to operate, but only for individual workouts or one-on-one training, according to the order.”  So if comrade rebels in Michigan can find an Ice-Skating rink open you will not ever suffer the embarrassment of another human seeing you fall down.

All of that said, what is your local areas’ current state of COVID-19 rules and regulations?

Feel free to share examples of Ministerial Compliance Decrees that seem to be, well, transparently silly.