If Santa Answered His Mail Honestly.....
Deer Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy
all yeer. Yer Friend, Billy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell. Santa
*****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy
Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me send you some Legos instead. Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis
Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay. I'll set you up with a Barbie. Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of Scotch. Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China . I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE,
PLEASE could I have one? Love, Timmy
Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa
****************************************************
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home? Love, Marky
Dear Mark,
First stop callling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window. Sweet dreams, Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy
all yeer. Yer Friend, Billy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell. Santa
*****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy
Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me send you some Legos instead. Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis
Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay. I'll set you up with a Barbie. Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of Scotch. Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China . I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE,
PLEASE could I have one? Love, Timmy
Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa
****************************************************
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home? Love, Marky
Dear Mark,
First stop callling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window. Sweet dreams, Santa
Comment
"Destroying the New World Order"
THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING THE SITE!
Latest Activity
- Top News
- Everything
"This is encouraging."
"There was no trail of death from the first case in the US landing in Seattle and brought north of…"
[OFFICIAL TRAILER] The Grand Deception
Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.
Архітектурне планування двоповерхового будинку: ключові рішення для комфортного простору
Проєктування двоповерхового будинку — це складний, але захоплюючий процес, що поєднує…See More
After Querying GROK over the 1952 Washington National Sightings
The Washington National Sightings (also called the 1952 Washington, D.C. UFO incident, the…See More
I Tried AI for Fun. Now I’ve Got Questions | Jeff Childers From #474 | The Way I Heard It
What does inevitability sound like?That’s not a thruway line—it’s the question I keep coming back to after this conversation with Jeff Childers. Because some...
"Cheeki, Thanks so much for the encouragement! "
© 2026 Created by truth.
Powered by
You need to be a member of 12160 Social Network to add comments!
Join 12160 Social Network