Jesus Criticized For Lack Of Diversity Among Apostles


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PORTLAND, OR—A leading New Testament scholar working at Unified Unity Divinity School has published a paper criticizing Jesus for a lack of diversity among the apostles He chose in the gospel accounts.

The woman, Dr. Diana T. Manger, pointed out that Jesus only chose Jewish males, refusing to implement diversity quotas for his group of disciples.

"Jesus chose all Jewish, cisgendered, able-bodied males: white supremacy, much?" she said as she presented her paper before a group of progressive scholars who had promised not to disagree with her. "It's obvious that Jesus was a nationalistic, xenophobic, hate-filled fearmonger."

Dr. Manger suggested that Jesus should have chosen more women, more transgender disciples, a disciple in a wheelchair, and at least one woman who is 1/1024th Native American. "The sickeningly homogenous group of disciples should have looked more like the Burger King Kid's Club," she said to applause.

"It really hurts Jesus's witness that he did not enforce 21st-century diversity quotas on his disciples," she said.

Manger has called for a ban on all Bible reading until the Lord agrees to revise history to conform to her standards.


The Chosen, the new multi-season show about Christ, stays historically accurate, we promise. Check out the trailer below and episodes 1-4 here.


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Comment by Burbia on August 4, 2019 at 8:42pm

Dr. Manger stopped just short of having suggested a comedy relief side kick for Jesus left out of the canonized version of the Bible, left out purposely forever changing our perceptions of the Bible.

Comment by cheeki kea on August 4, 2019 at 7:56am

Ultimately he made one poor choice, which led to death, there by teaching us Caution every time we see them pop up. 

Comment by James Roberts on August 4, 2019 at 7:44am
Comment by James Roberts on August 4, 2019 at 7:29am

NOT Jewish.

Comment by cheeki kea on August 4, 2019 at 6:25am

I am sure Jesus would have chosen best people for the job -Out Of Those Who Had Applied ! Of cause once again we haven't told how many that was or who they were.

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