New Radar System Alerts Politicians When People Are Enjoying Something So They Can Ban It

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Politicians in Washington have developed a radar that detects when people are enjoying something so they can figure out what will be the target of their next ban.

The advanced fun detection system has already found hundreds of new things that politicians in Washington weren't aware people were enjoying. Every day, the lawmakers and executives are provided with a list of fun stuff people are doing and then immediately get to work on stopping this fun.

"Welp, looks like it's vapes today," said one advisor in the White House as he checked the charts. "People are having a lot of fun with them. A very small percentage of people are dying of them. So, we've got to ban them."

"Also they look stupid."

Radar reports people have been enjoying drones, fireworks, video games, plastic straws, saturated fats, milk, rain water, hunting rifles, free speech, the Second Amendment, plastic bags, and feeding homeless people. These and many other dangerous freedoms were quickly targeted by lawmakers.

"It's amazing when I look at this printout every morning and notice how much freedom there still is out there despite our best efforts," said one congressman. "There is much work to be done."

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Comment by James Roberts on September 14, 2019 at 6:18pm

This will be followed by an AI programmed to seek out all activities, books and groups that are morally right, so they can ban those as well.

Comment by Twilight Zone on September 14, 2019 at 5:13pm

This would also explain modern art, new movie releases, TV shows, Rap, why comedians have become lecturers on PC culture...

Comment by Chris of the family Masters on September 14, 2019 at 4:51pm

Makes perfect sense....

"Destroying the New World Order"

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