(NaturalNews) What's better than receiving a free groping by the TSA? How about getting your breasts checked for cancer at the same time? That's the new offering from the TSA, which says that squeezing and twisting your breasts during security pat-downs is now a "medical procedure" and that it's all being done "to protect the health of Americans." Men, meanwhile, will now receive a free prostate exam as part of their screening procedure.

Before administering the new procedure, TSA agents will be required to attend a weekend seminar on manual breast cancer detection techniques. While some observers complained that a single weekend was not enough training to qualify http://www.naturalnews.com/TSA_agents.html">CTRL + Click to follow link"">TSA agents to conduct sensitive medical procedures on passengers, TSA head John Pistole responded by explaining, "That's true, but TSA agents aren't really trained on security, either, and we have them playing that role just fine, too."

Passengers going through TSA checkpoints won't notice much of a difference in the pat-downs, given that agents are already squeezing and twisting women's breasts. Men, however, will now be asked to cough.

In response to the new cancer screening at airport security checkpoints, the American Cancer Society praised the move, explaining this was the "free health care" promised by President Obama. "There's no charge for this valuable cancer examination," an ACS spokesperson said. "People wishing to receive their free screening merely need to buy an airplane ticket and line up at a security checkpoint."

DHS head Janet Napolitano even explained that introducing the medical procedure "resolves all Fourth Amendment concerns about our security pat-downs" because by adding the breast cancer checks, pat-downs are now "medical procedures," which are not protected under the Bill of Rights.

There's even talk of using the TSA's so-called "naked body scanners" as mammography imaging devices. Since TSA agents who monitor the scans are already zooming in on the naked images of women's breasts, it only makes sense to train them to look for early signs of breast cancer at the same time. Those who are found to be carrying breast cancer could even be injected with chemotherapy "treatment" chemicals before boarding their flight.

Not everyone is happy with the new arrangement, of course. There's always some radical, freedom-loving security hater who doesn't go along with the benefits of Big Government. In this case, health freedom extremist Mike Adams -- long suspected of being an "information terrorist" for publishing free cancer cures on NaturalNews.com -- pointed out that since the TSA often misses guns, knives and other weapons in carry-on luggage, how can they be trusted to spot tiny lump tissues in breasts, especially through clothing? In response, the TSA says it is considering requiring passengers to remove their clothing in order to "enhance the accuracy of the medical screening."

An MSNBC news poll reveals that 95 percent of Americans would gladly take off all their clothes and agree to be molested by government agents if they were told it would "make them safer."

(This article is obviously satire. See more satire from Mike Adams at the http://www.counterthink.com/">CTRL + Click to follow link"">www.CounterThink.com website.)

Learn more: CTRL + Click to follow link"">http://www.naturalnews.com/033112_...

Views: 54

Comment

You need to be a member of 12160 Social Network to add comments!

Join 12160 Social Network

Comment by CHUCK W. on July 25, 2011 at 10:14pm

here's one for you

'

 

Monday, July 25, 2011

Texas beer joint sues church

Laugh A Little.

            In a small Texas town, (Mt. Vernon ) Drummond's bar began construction on a new building to increase their business.. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. Work progressed right up till the week before opening when lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground. The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

            The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise in its reply to the court. As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork. At the hearing he commented, "I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that does not."
Comment by CHUCK W. on July 25, 2011 at 7:01pm

we all need a little humor in our day. I find the best type is when it creeps up on ya unexpectedly. sorta like having a baby and not knowing you were pregnant.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and  looks forward
     to his adultery.
                  ***********************************
Q: Give the meaning of the term  "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is the red light district in Rome.

Comment by youhavetoforgiveme on July 25, 2011 at 4:51pm
lol...oh now that's funny....maybe I've been here too long. Until I saw the word "satire", I thought that he was serious-- and it was even funny then too.

"Destroying the New World Order"

TOP CONTENT THIS WEEK

THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING THE SITE!

mobile page

12160.info/m

12160 Administrators

 

Latest Activity

Doc Vega posted blog posts
4 hours ago
kacang99 commented on tjdavis's photo
Thumbnail

The Name Game

"very nice, main di kacang99 demo situs slot kasih akun demo gratis"
6 hours ago
Doc Vega commented on Doc Vega's blog post Plausible Explanation Behind Recent Cryptid Sightings in the Wild!
"cheeki kea I was wrong Emperor Penguins are big and powerful but still alive but this,  A size…"
7 hours ago
Doc Vega commented on Doc Vega's blog post Plausible Explanation Behind Recent Cryptid Sightings in the Wild!
"Cheeki kea here's another that they say there have been modern sightings of!  The name of…"
7 hours ago
Doc Vega commented on Doc Vega's blog post Plausible Explanation Behind Recent Cryptid Sightings in the Wild!
"cheeki kea, did you ever hear of the giant Imperial Penguins? They were about 6 feet tall and could…"
7 hours ago
Doc Vega commented on Doc Vega's blog post Plausible Explanation Behind Recent Cryptid Sightings in the Wild!
"cheeki kea I do not think these giant two legged birds would need to have a bad attitude as long as…"
7 hours ago
Olivia Brooks updated their profile
13 hours ago
kacang99 updated their profile
15 hours ago
John Miller was featured
16 hours ago
tjdavis's 2 blog posts were featured
16 hours ago
Zfort Group's blog post was featured
16 hours ago
Doc Vega's 6 blog posts were featured
16 hours ago
Burbia commented on tjdavis's video
Thumbnail

“What’s His Motive?” - Inside The Mind of George Soros

"Trump calls for George Soros and son to face federal…"
21 hours ago
Burbia commented on tjdavis's photo
21 hours ago
Profile Iconkacang99, Seeta Sathe and Olivia Brooks joined 12160 Social Network
22 hours ago
tjdavis posted a video

Mossad, Terrifying CIA Technology, Blackwater & The Most Secret CIA Unit | John Kiriakou

John Kiriakou served 15 years in the CIA as a Case Officer (Spy) and as CIA's Head of Counterterrorism Operations in Pakistan where he lead the raid that cap...
yesterday
tjdavis posted a photo
yesterday
tjdavis posted a video

A Critique of the Tavistock Institute - The Mother Of All Conspiracy Theories

An examination of the Tavistock Institute, a theory which seeks to explain how Western societies have been brainwashed by a cabal of social scientists and th...
Sunday
tjdavis posted a video

“What’s His Motive?” - Inside The Mind of George Soros

In this short clip, Patrick Bet-David, Sebastian Gorka Adam Sosnick, and Tom Ellsworth George Soros and what motivates him to do the things he does. FaceTime...
Thursday
Doc Vega posted blog posts
Aug 27

© 2025   Created by truth.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

content and site copyright 12160.info 2007-2019 - all rights reserved. unless otherwise noted