I'll be your host tonight in our first episode of "Our Crazy Modern World". Join us now!

Apparently human and animal hybrid experiments are already underway! 

A new category of hair loss treatment is finally showing promise with mild side effects.

And you're telling me that this device will get any woman in the mood?

I wonder, how many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I keep telling these earthlings to knock off the nuclear escalation but they say I'm not being politically correct! 

I always wanted an older man to show me all the tricks, What do you say Pops?

I advise all military personnel to resist illegal orders by the Commander in Chief or by golly I'll shoot myself in the foot! 

I'm afraid that brain growth stimulator for our dementia patients has gone a little too far! 

Pet Mart offers free animals that no one else wanted just pay for the vaccination. Standard Disclaimer: We are not responsible any injury from the animals you choose to take home.

Hey man, just because I ran over one of you ICE Agents doesn't mean I'm the bad guy! 

I swear to God I'm not rejecting you, but it's your breath! 

I love this guy for his animal magnetism! 

Well look who just jumped out of the rabbit hole. I thought that was just an expression! 

Okay, okay, I'll admit we've had some unforeseen complications with the latest Ebola virus serum! 

We come from a planet that has methane as its atmosphere! It smells much like your cattle farts! 

Just got back from an Obamacare exam! it was a real eye opener! 

This device is strongly recommended to treat your prostrate issues. Only one complication can occur-spontaneous disintegration! 

So what if I'm an illegal alien! That's the only reason you don't want me right? You racist you! 

That about wraps it up for tonight! Join us next time for another "Our Crazy Modern World."