The truth is out there beyond the DC Beltway! 

And tonight's feature!

This is my little reception committee for Elon Musk and DOGE!

You see for yourself how well the MRNA serums work! Pfizer paid me 100 grand just to say this you know! 

You're full of shit Agent Mulder! There is no monster standing behind me!

So, we're supposed to find a vial of cocaine out here instead of in the White House where it was originally found?

I will admit that the Covid vaccines were a little rough when we tested them, Agent Mulder, but with a few more shots to correct the side effects.

What the hell do you mean Agent Mulder, that I smell like death and you won't go out with me? Even feminists need love! 

Damn Scully that sperm sample hurt! 

Okay! Okay! So I'll admit I've been rolling around on the streets of San Francisco and I need a shower! Shoot me! 

I'm with the Deep State and we plan to keep the US in a constant state of war until we bankrupt the dollar and while the surface of the earth is scorched by thermo-nuclear war! We'll be safe in our Deep Underground Military Bases. Does that sound like a plan?

Let me get this straight. I'm supposed to hit one of the DC police with this stick while wearing a MAGA hat on J6 and I get a free trip to Epstein's island?

If you keep making jokes about how we humans are just shaved apes who learned how to reverse engineer your space crafts, I'm going to rattle your cage punk! 

Don't you ever ask me where we get the stem cells again! Oh, and nothing about what happens to the missing children at the border either! Now you know! 

But I tried to discredit Pete Hegseth at the confirmation hearing! I tried! I tried! I tried! 

Never should have trusted those humans partying with fentanyl! They said it was candy! 

I'm never going to be governor of California again! I'm never going to be governor of California again! I'm never going to be governor of California again! 

Yuh know Scully, my gut felling tells me we're not alone. Whadaya think?

Well fans you've guessed it! It's time to wrap things up! Until next time!