U.S.—A study released by Pew Research Center Thursday morning revealed a new fastest-growing religion in the country: politics.

Unlike many religions that only meet once or twice a week, adherents to the religion of politics worship every day, doing their devotionals in front of Fox News, CNN, or their carefully cultivated Twitter feeds. There is a major sectarian dispute among politics' followers, as to whether the one true god is a donkey or an elephant, but otherwise, their methods of practicing their faith are remarkably similar.

Political worshipers come in all forms, from casual believers who faithfully vote each election but don't regularly attend rallies or argue about politics online to crazed people who mail bombs to people they disagree with. But most political believers reject these violent zealots as radicalized extremists, insisting that politics is a "religion of peace."

According to researchers, worshipers of politics are even more zealous and passionate than members of more traditional religions, being more likely to annoy friends and family and blast each other on Facebook over which political god is better. Religious people sometimes go door to door to spread their beliefs, while the political faithful will bother you on Facebook all day long.

"A lot of people who said they were done with the concept of God and religion ended up just worshiping politics instead," said one analyst. "It's almost like there's this void in every human that just needs to be filled with something, and so people who don't believe in God decide to worship political leaders or the state instead."

"Weird," he added.

Followers of this rapidly growing religion are reportedly preparing to celebrate its high holy day: midterm elections. The festival includes the selection of new high priests to enact the sacred will of the people, which is usually to get more stuff from the government at the expense of everyone else.

Readers of the Bee,

If you value The Babylon Bee and want to see us prevail against Snopes and anyone else who might seek to discredit or deplatform us, please consider becoming a subscriber. Your support really will make a difference.

Views: 117

Comment

You need to be a member of 12160 Social Network to add comments!

Join 12160 Social Network

Comment by Burbia on September 27, 2019 at 11:21am

The Onion does a good job as well.

Comment by Parrhesia on September 27, 2019 at 8:26am

Once again The Babylon Bee shows the line between reality and satire is very thin.

Comment by cheeki kea on September 27, 2019 at 6:35am

Yes well we've got a PM that's Done with God - worships Herself now. But your right, sooner or later everyone will need to pick a side, even the Govt. themselves. Some even pick a side that's not the side they pick. 

"Destroying the New World Order"

TOP CONTENT THIS WEEK

THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING THE SITE!

mobile page

12160.info/m

12160 Administrators

 

Latest Activity

tjdavis posted a video

A Critique of the Tavistock Institute - The Mother Of All Conspiracy Theories

An examination of the Tavistock Institute, a theory which seeks to explain how Western societies have been brainwashed by a cabal of social scientists and th...
1 hour ago
tjdavis posted a video

“What’s His Motive?” - Inside The Mind of George Soros

In this short clip, Patrick Bet-David, Sebastian Gorka Adam Sosnick, and Tom Ellsworth George Soros and what motivates him to do the things he does. FaceTime...
Thursday
Doc Vega posted blog posts
Wednesday
cheeki kea favorited Bob of the Family Renner's photo
Tuesday
cheeki kea commented on Doc Vega's blog post Plausible Explanation Behind Recent Cryptid Sightings in the Wild!
"If you're ever out there Doc V and notice giant two legged birds roaming the wilderness be…"
Tuesday
Doc Vega posted blog posts
Tuesday
Burbia commented on TommyD's group The Chuckle Hut
Monday
Doc Vega posted blog posts
Aug 24
Doc Vega posted photos
Aug 23
Doc Vega posted a blog post

Ashrams and Moonies Perfect Case for Mind Control

 In the late 60’s and into the 70’s we saw a strange phenomenon emerge! That was the rise of cults…See More
Aug 22
Doc Vega posted a blog post

Modern Progress

 From some things you just can’t come backNot everyone has your backIt might just be a nuclear…See More
Aug 21
Bob of the Family Renner favorited tjdavis's photo
Aug 21
Less Prone favorited Sandy's discussion Sick sci-fi sex fantasy written by Epstein's first benefactor people say inspired his twisted island... before author's SON ended up arresting him
Aug 21
Doc Vega commented on tjdavis's photo
Thumbnail

Now Playing

"They sure as hell are! "
Aug 20
Doc Vega commented on Doc Vega's blog post Plausible Explanation Behind Recent Cryptid Sightings in the Wild!
"cheeki kea, yes they have already produced a Wooly Mammoth by crossing DNA from frozen remains in…"
Aug 20
Less Prone favorited tjdavis's photo
Aug 20
Less Prone favorited Bob of the Family Renner's photo
Aug 20
Less Prone favorited tjdavis's photo
Aug 20
Less Prone left a comment for Misteri
"Welcome back!"
Aug 20
tjdavis posted blog posts
Aug 19

© 2025   Created by truth.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

content and site copyright 12160.info 2007-2019 - all rights reserved. unless otherwise noted