U.S.—A study released by Pew Research Center Thursday morning revealed a new fastest-growing religion in the country: politics.

Unlike many religions that only meet once or twice a week, adherents to the religion of politics worship every day, doing their devotionals in front of Fox News, CNN, or their carefully cultivated Twitter feeds. There is a major sectarian dispute among politics' followers, as to whether the one true god is a donkey or an elephant, but otherwise, their methods of practicing their faith are remarkably similar.

Political worshipers come in all forms, from casual believers who faithfully vote each election but don't regularly attend rallies or argue about politics online to crazed people who mail bombs to people they disagree with. But most political believers reject these violent zealots as radicalized extremists, insisting that politics is a "religion of peace."

According to researchers, worshipers of politics are even more zealous and passionate than members of more traditional religions, being more likely to annoy friends and family and blast each other on Facebook over which political god is better. Religious people sometimes go door to door to spread their beliefs, while the political faithful will bother you on Facebook all day long.

"A lot of people who said they were done with the concept of God and religion ended up just worshiping politics instead," said one analyst. "It's almost like there's this void in every human that just needs to be filled with something, and so people who don't believe in God decide to worship political leaders or the state instead."

"Weird," he added.

Followers of this rapidly growing religion are reportedly preparing to celebrate its high holy day: midterm elections. The festival includes the selection of new high priests to enact the sacred will of the people, which is usually to get more stuff from the government at the expense of everyone else.

Readers of the Bee,

If you value The Babylon Bee and want to see us prevail against Snopes and anyone else who might seek to discredit or deplatform us, please consider becoming a subscriber. Your support really will make a difference.

Views: 117

Comment

You need to be a member of 12160 Social Network to add comments!

Join 12160 Social Network

Comment by Burbia on September 27, 2019 at 11:21am

The Onion does a good job as well.

Comment by Parrhesia on September 27, 2019 at 8:26am

Once again The Babylon Bee shows the line between reality and satire is very thin.

Comment by cheeki kea on September 27, 2019 at 6:35am

Yes well we've got a PM that's Done with God - worships Herself now. But your right, sooner or later everyone will need to pick a side, even the Govt. themselves. Some even pick a side that's not the side they pick. 

"Destroying the New World Order"

TOP CONTENT THIS WEEK

THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING THE SITE!

mobile page

12160.info/m

12160 Administrators

 

Latest Activity

Burbia commented on rlionhearted_3's photo
Thumbnail

Another incredibly Stupid!! What, no mirrors?

"This movie portrayed plastic surgery as absurd. I guess the numbers in the real world are growing."
5 hours ago
Burbia commented on tjdavis's photo
Thumbnail

Redux

"Ah yes, General Jussitri Smolletkov. Good tongzhi. Good tongzhi."
6 hours ago
Doc Vega posted a blog post

Unusual Discoveries and Headlines

Archaeologists have discovered an ancient tool dated to be 6,000 years old, but even more…See More
16 hours ago
tjdavis posted a video

Inside Texas HOMELESS HELL – Even Cops Don't Dare Step In! - Documentary

In this powerful documentary, we explore the escalating Texas homeless crisis 2025, where cities and rural areas alike are witnessing a disturbing rise in th...
21 hours ago
tjdavis posted a photo
yesterday
John Miller replied to MAC's discussion BREAKING! UFO whistleblowers drop BOMBSHELL on D.C. | Redacted with Natali and Clayton Morris
"Crazy how these whistleblower stories are finally making it into bigger conversations. Makes you…"
yesterday
Burbia favorited tjdavis's blog post The Dems Love Their Demons
Sunday
John Miller commented on tjdavis's photo
Thumbnail

Comprehensive Coverage

"That car needs an exorcism, not an oil change."
Saturday
John Miller commented on tjdavis's blog post The Dems Love Their Demons
"If the Dems are dating demons, then that AI romance shoot was basically engagement photos."
Saturday
John Miller replied to cheeki kea's discussion Would-Be Trump Assassin Ryan Routh Gave Many Interviews with Mainstream Media
"Wouldn't be surprised if there's a whole lot more buried under the surface here."
Saturday
Less Prone favorited rlionhearted_3's photo
Saturday
Less Prone left a comment for John Miller
"Welcome John."
Saturday
Doc Vega posted a blog post

The Saga of Ape Canyon Revisited

 In the years that I’d written for the Plano Star Courier I got several invitations to go on…See More
Saturday
John Miller is now a member of 12160 Social Network
Saturday
Less Prone favorited tjdavis's photo
Saturday
tjdavis posted a photo
Saturday
Burbia posted a video

The lIIumlnatl Stallions: MethyIene Bluecifer & Mind-Control Horses [ FULL DOCUMENTARY ]

🐴🦄🐸 Get the NEW "lIIumlnatl Animal Coloring Book!" 🐴🦄🐸NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON - CLICK HERE: https://amzn.to/3SYgAkC🔑 Get MORE Access to the Secret Vid...
Saturday
Doc Vega commented on Doc Vega's blog post Memorial Weekend Getaway Horror Story
"Less Prone thanks for your support Buddy! "
Friday
Doc Vega replied to cheeki kea's discussion Would-Be Trump Assassin Ryan Routh Gave Many Interviews with Mainstream Media
"cheeki kea, I really appreciate the reporting of Sky News. I think they've done a great…"
Friday
Doc Vega posted a blog post

When

 Sad blue eyed poet rehearses his craftJust took a salvo in the compartment aftHis chances of…See More
Friday

© 2025   Created by truth.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

content and site copyright 12160.info 2007-2019 - all rights reserved. unless otherwise noted