$5.37! That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck
wondering what was wrong with Elmo.
Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and
headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something
and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?"
I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind.

"Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly!
It could happen to anyone!"

I turned and headed back to the truck.
I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn.
What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing.

That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging
from my rear view mirror.
I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus.
The car seat in the back seat.
Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard.
A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba,
I flew out of the alien vehicle.

Moments later I was speeding out of the
parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this
nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage,
and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was,
"What is the world coming to?"

All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag.
His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."

I took the food and drink from the little boy and
sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words: "It's OK.
My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius.
And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.

The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list.

Notice the larger type? That's for those of us who have trouble reading.

P.S. Save the earth...... It's the only planet with chocolate!!!!!

Views: 96

Comment

You need to be a member of 12160 Social Network to add comments!

Join 12160 Social Network

Comment by Sweettina2 on August 22, 2011 at 6:35pm
LOL!  Right on Timothy!
Comment by Timothy Leon Jackson on August 20, 2011 at 8:14am

"P.S. Save the earth...... It's the only planet with chocolate!!!!!"

Plus we have cookies.....and not the crunchy kind!!!

"Destroying the New World Order"

TOP CONTENT THIS WEEK

THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING THE SITE!

mobile page

12160.info/m

12160 Administrators

 

Latest Activity

Sandy posted videos
14 hours ago
Sandy replied to Sandy's discussion Sick sci-fi sex fantasy written by Epstein's first benefactor people say inspired his twisted island... before author's SON ended up arresting him
"Interesting. I always thought he was still alive. Probably given some plastic surgery and a witness…"
14 hours ago
WIllow is now a member of 12160 Social Network
yesterday
Burbia commented on Less Prone's video
Thumbnail

Sydney Sweeney Has Great Jeans - Outrage AI Parody Song

"Props to Schottenstein on his foray out of the woods that was DEI and wokeness. "
yesterday
Burbia replied to Sandy's discussion Sick sci-fi sex fantasy written by Epstein's first benefactor people say inspired his twisted island... before author's SON ended up arresting him
"One of the theories floating around was Hilary Clinton's brother Hugh, was the one…"
yesterday
Sandy posted a discussion
yesterday
Doc Vega posted blog posts
yesterday
Less Prone favorited Sandy's video
yesterday
Less Prone favorited tjdavis's video
yesterday
Less Prone posted a video

Sydney Sweeney Has Great Jeans - Outrage AI Parody Song

AI Parody Music Video poking fun at the online hysteria surrounding Sydney Sweeney's American Eagle jeans campaign.✅ Blue jeans✅ Blonde panic✅ DEI gone wild✅...
yesterday
tjdavis posted a video

How "Free" P*rn Sites Really Work (and Who Runs Them)

Excerpt from This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #559 Laila MickelwaitFull Episode: https://youtu.be/9J7187j4PO4?si=2GUNymssKJpe6nEvFind Theo Von:Website: https://...
Wednesday
tjdavis posted a blog post
Wednesday
Doc Vega posted blog posts
Tuesday
Doc Vega commented on Ragnarok's video
Thumbnail

Charles Manson Talks About The Global Elite

"I've had my account with YouTube terminated before over bullshit excuses because they…"
Tuesday
Doc Vega commented on Ragnarok's video
Thumbnail

Charles Manson Talks About The Global Elite

"Remember, though he makes his points, this man used the Beatles White Album as his own manifesto of…"
Tuesday
Sandy posted videos
Monday
Sandy posted a photo
Monday
Sandy commented on Sandy's video
Sunday
Sandy posted a video
Sunday
cheeki kea posted a photo
Jul 30

© 2025   Created by truth.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

content and site copyright 12160.info 2007-2019 - all rights reserved. unless otherwise noted