The Fukushima Dictionary of Physics Terminology (satire)
Does all the physics terminology from Fukushima news reports have your head spinning? Have no fear, NaturalNews readers: I've assembled this handy dandy dictionary of all the terms you need to know to follow Fukushima developments as if you were a double-PhD physics geek. Enjoy!
Editor's Note: Fukushima is no laughing matter, of course, but the lack of understanding of the laws of physics throughout the mainstream media is sadly hilarious. Laughter and humor are healthy for relieving stress, and right now, a lot of people need some stress relief over this situation. In no way does this take away from the seriousness of the Fukushima situation, and we will resume our serious reporting on Fukushima in the days ahead. See the bottom of this article for additional notes about Fukushima and this satire piece.
Dictionary of Radiation (and physics) Terms:
Half Life - How much of your lifespan has now been taken away by listening to the misinformation being spewed out by the mainstream media's reporting on Fukushima.
Table of elements - The place where all the seafood from Japan is now resting while we try to figure out if eating it will cause our hair to fall out.
Reactor Number Two - What happens in the toilet stall after you eat McDonald's Happy Meal Combo #1.
Under control - Hopelessly out of control and probably likely to explode at any minute. As in, "Reactor No. 2 is completely under control now."
Neutron - The new sci-fi movie starring Jeff Bridges, as opposed to the "Old Tron."
Cesium - Part of the answer given by nuclear safety workers when asked, "Where is the Fukushima safety manager?" The reply? "I thinks I cesium somewhere around here..."
Safe - The new government euphemism for "more than enough to give you cancer." As in, "The radioactive fallout from Fukushima is now SAFE."
Millisieverts - Something related to Becquerels, or curies, or something physics sounding, but nobody really knows, and it has something to do with the inverse square or something else we probably should have learned in high school physics but we weren't paying attention because we were all too busy trying to figure out how to cheat on the final exam.
Geiger counter - Obama's new nationwide employment plan that involves millions of census workers ("Geigers") aimlessly wandering the streets of America trying to count how many people there are if they would only hold still for long enough.
Nukular - How George W. Bush pronounces "nuclear." To master the "nukular" pronunciation, simply start with the word "nuclear" and then subtract one hundred IQ points.
Learn more: http://www.naturalnews.com/032003_Fukushima_dictionary.html#ixzz1Iy...
Editor's Note: Fukushima is no laughing matter, of course, but the lack of understanding of the laws of physics throughout the mainstream media is sadly hilarious. Laughter and humor are healthy for relieving stress, and right now, a lot of people need some stress relief over this situation. In no way does this take away from the seriousness of the Fukushima situation, and we will resume our serious reporting on Fukushima in the days ahead. See the bottom of this article for additional notes about Fukushima and this satire piece.
Dictionary of Radiation (and physics) Terms:
Half Life - How much of your lifespan has now been taken away by listening to the misinformation being spewed out by the mainstream media's reporting on Fukushima.
Table of elements - The place where all the seafood from Japan is now resting while we try to figure out if eating it will cause our hair to fall out.
Reactor Number Two - What happens in the toilet stall after you eat McDonald's Happy Meal Combo #1.
Under control - Hopelessly out of control and probably likely to explode at any minute. As in, "Reactor No. 2 is completely under control now."
Neutron - The new sci-fi movie starring Jeff Bridges, as opposed to the "Old Tron."
Cesium - Part of the answer given by nuclear safety workers when asked, "Where is the Fukushima safety manager?" The reply? "I thinks I cesium somewhere around here..."
Safe - The new government euphemism for "more than enough to give you cancer." As in, "The radioactive fallout from Fukushima is now SAFE."
Millisieverts - Something related to Becquerels, or curies, or something physics sounding, but nobody really knows, and it has something to do with the inverse square or something else we probably should have learned in high school physics but we weren't paying attention because we were all too busy trying to figure out how to cheat on the final exam.
Geiger counter - Obama's new nationwide employment plan that involves millions of census workers ("Geigers") aimlessly wandering the streets of America trying to count how many people there are if they would only hold still for long enough.
Nukular - How George W. Bush pronounces "nuclear." To master the "nukular" pronunciation, simply start with the word "nuclear" and then subtract one hundred IQ points.
Learn more: http://www.naturalnews.com/032003_Fukushima_dictionary.html#ixzz1Iy...
Comment
"Destroying the New World Order"
THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING THE SITE!
Latest Activity
- Top News
- Everything
Trump's Big Beautiful Bill Passes Amidst Democrat Lies About a Tax cut for the Rich Being Averted
AP Photo/Rod Lamkey, Jr.It’s over, folks. President Trump and congressional Republicans aimed to…See More
"I wonder what wearables must have been like before the last reset. "
"EVERYONE'S BEEN SHOT UP HERE": Arsonists Set Wildfire In Idaho, Open Fire On Firefighters, Police
"AAAAAAND…….HE’S ANOTHER TRANS…"
"Another scare tactic to push people into anew regime of vaccinations! Either that, or this is a…"
Dr. Mike Yeadon Speaks Out Against Digital ID, CBDCs, and Agenda 2030
Dr. Mike Yeadon, ex-Pfizer VP, urges public rejection of digital ID, CBDCs, and Agenda 2030, warning of future restrictions on freedom and privacy.
"EVERYONE'S BEEN SHOT UP HERE": Arsonists Set Wildfire In Idaho, Open Fire On Firefighters, Police
- Shocking news just broke that multiple firefighters and officers were shot in an ambush at the Canfield Mountain Natural Area in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.Acco...
Well Known Wilderness Photographer Disappears in the Cascades-Guess Why?
In August of 2023 another aficionado of the great outdoors went missing. The chilling revelations…See More
The Draconian Show
Sometimes I talk to my invisible friend, IkeHe comes from another dimension when magnetic fields…See More
"Listen man I know where you're at but back in October of 2023 thru December of 2023 for months…"
Architecton | Official Trailer HD | A24
SUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/A24subscribeWritten and directed by Victor Kossakovsky and starring Michele De Lucchi. ARCHITECTON – Coming Soon RELEASE DATE: Comin...
© 2025 Created by truth.
Powered by
You need to be a member of 12160 Social Network to add comments!
Join 12160 Social Network