The Fukushima Dictionary of Physics Terminology (satire)
Does all the physics terminology from Fukushima news reports have your head spinning? Have no fear, NaturalNews readers: I've assembled this handy dandy dictionary of all the terms you need to know to follow Fukushima developments as if you were a double-PhD physics geek. Enjoy!
Editor's Note: Fukushima is no laughing matter, of course, but the lack of understanding of the laws of physics throughout the mainstream media is sadly hilarious. Laughter and humor are healthy for relieving stress, and right now, a lot of people need some stress relief over this situation. In no way does this take away from the seriousness of the Fukushima situation, and we will resume our serious reporting on Fukushima in the days ahead. See the bottom of this article for additional notes about Fukushima and this satire piece.
Dictionary of Radiation (and physics) Terms:
Half Life - How much of your lifespan has now been taken away by listening to the misinformation being spewed out by the mainstream media's reporting on Fukushima.
Table of elements - The place where all the seafood from Japan is now resting while we try to figure out if eating it will cause our hair to fall out.
Reactor Number Two - What happens in the toilet stall after you eat McDonald's Happy Meal Combo #1.
Under control - Hopelessly out of control and probably likely to explode at any minute. As in, "Reactor No. 2 is completely under control now."
Neutron - The new sci-fi movie starring Jeff Bridges, as opposed to the "Old Tron."
Cesium - Part of the answer given by nuclear safety workers when asked, "Where is the Fukushima safety manager?" The reply? "I thinks I cesium somewhere around here..."
Safe - The new government euphemism for "more than enough to give you cancer." As in, "The radioactive fallout from Fukushima is now SAFE."
Millisieverts - Something related to Becquerels, or curies, or something physics sounding, but nobody really knows, and it has something to do with the inverse square or something else we probably should have learned in high school physics but we weren't paying attention because we were all too busy trying to figure out how to cheat on the final exam.
Geiger counter - Obama's new nationwide employment plan that involves millions of census workers ("Geigers") aimlessly wandering the streets of America trying to count how many people there are if they would only hold still for long enough.
Nukular - How George W. Bush pronounces "nuclear." To master the "nukular" pronunciation, simply start with the word "nuclear" and then subtract one hundred IQ points.
Learn more: http://www.naturalnews.com/032003_Fukushima_dictionary.html#ixzz1Iy...
Editor's Note: Fukushima is no laughing matter, of course, but the lack of understanding of the laws of physics throughout the mainstream media is sadly hilarious. Laughter and humor are healthy for relieving stress, and right now, a lot of people need some stress relief over this situation. In no way does this take away from the seriousness of the Fukushima situation, and we will resume our serious reporting on Fukushima in the days ahead. See the bottom of this article for additional notes about Fukushima and this satire piece.
Dictionary of Radiation (and physics) Terms:
Half Life - How much of your lifespan has now been taken away by listening to the misinformation being spewed out by the mainstream media's reporting on Fukushima.
Table of elements - The place where all the seafood from Japan is now resting while we try to figure out if eating it will cause our hair to fall out.
Reactor Number Two - What happens in the toilet stall after you eat McDonald's Happy Meal Combo #1.
Under control - Hopelessly out of control and probably likely to explode at any minute. As in, "Reactor No. 2 is completely under control now."
Neutron - The new sci-fi movie starring Jeff Bridges, as opposed to the "Old Tron."
Cesium - Part of the answer given by nuclear safety workers when asked, "Where is the Fukushima safety manager?" The reply? "I thinks I cesium somewhere around here..."
Safe - The new government euphemism for "more than enough to give you cancer." As in, "The radioactive fallout from Fukushima is now SAFE."
Millisieverts - Something related to Becquerels, or curies, or something physics sounding, but nobody really knows, and it has something to do with the inverse square or something else we probably should have learned in high school physics but we weren't paying attention because we were all too busy trying to figure out how to cheat on the final exam.
Geiger counter - Obama's new nationwide employment plan that involves millions of census workers ("Geigers") aimlessly wandering the streets of America trying to count how many people there are if they would only hold still for long enough.
Nukular - How George W. Bush pronounces "nuclear." To master the "nukular" pronunciation, simply start with the word "nuclear" and then subtract one hundred IQ points.
Learn more: http://www.naturalnews.com/032003_Fukushima_dictionary.html#ixzz1Iy...
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