The Test

Reverend James Dobson always said that the reason he and his wife had remained married so many decades despite work related separations and the demands of his evangelism and book writings as a psychologist was having “The Talk”. This was his way of the couple having a very deep conversation about where their lives were going, if they were on the same page, if they were both happy, and what could they do about problems before they got out of hand. The essential serious discussion to root out underlying problems or issues that were not being addressed is one of the major reasons who the foundation of so many marriages gets destroyed. Couples don’t want to talk about those scary subjects but in doing so their union is threatened. From everyday irritations, stress over finances, and even sexual temptation, today’s marriage is under siege! Yet, those attacks could be warded off if the lines of communication were open.

A simple indication

I have a suggestion borne out of a test. I call it “The Test”. It involves a physical gesture that will give a very good indicator over what the health of your relationship with your spouse really is men. Yes, this is a test to see where a man stands with is woman. It is simple and yet telling. Now when a man marries his spouse she becomes a combination of personas in his life. She is a lover, a friend, a confidant, and even a mother figure as he looks to her for her nurturing support when he feels weak or simply needs a kind of support he can go to no other for. For some men the admission that his own wife is even a mother figure to him might seem unmanly, yet there is no doubt that just a s a woman needs her husband to be a father figure, that need is present in both elements of the marriage.

What can be gleaned from it?

Here is the test and what the results will tell you. The man should kneel before his wife and place his head in her lap. This gesture should be viewed as a submissive overture but more than that it is the man seeking momentary relief from pressure and seeking the maternal instincts of his woman. It is the surrender of the man from his momentary stronghold of masculinity and briefly relinquishing control. He is now totally vulnerable to her. If she loves her man deeply and cares enough to give that moment of herself to him in the midst of everyday struggles, she will embrace his head and shoulders with a loving hug. She will physically re-affirm that he is still loved and cared for with her response.

The tender moment that should have been tender

However, if she rejects him, refuses to grasp and hold him for a brief moment, this is a powerful indicator of two things. Her motherly instincts have been suppressed. Either, she has lost her faith in him and feels that she has no forgiveness or desire to see through the future sacrifice of the relationship, and is probably planning to eventually leave so she has built a wall around herself, or she never had very strong maternal instincts to begin with, in that case, the relationship would be suffering due to this. With this simple gesture that a man would rarely allow himself to become so vulnerable to, he can find out through body language just what he actually means to his woman. Coldly refusing to embrace him, quickly rebuffing him from that tender moment is her either unconscious or conscious transmission of her true feelings. If this happens, it is likely your relationship is in deep trouble and you should attempt to salvage it if it’s not already too late.