U.S.—The Trump campaign has been making claims that rival candidate Joe Biden isn’t fit to debate, has been “hiding in his basement,” and may try to skip the debates so as not to embarrass himself. The Biden campaign has denied these charges and said that Biden is looking forward to the debates and a chance to confront Trump. They had some caveats, though.

“Because of the coronavirus concern, we will need to take extra precautions,” said Biden campaign manager Jen O'Malley Dillon. “Biden will need to wear an extra safe face mask that will cover his entire face. And while wearing it, his voice might sound different -- even have a different accent -- but that’s just because of... the mask.”

Dillon said that Biden should easily trounce Trump in the debate. “I think you’ll be surprised at how well he does,” she added. “It will be a totally different Biden than you’ve come to expect. But that will be Joe Biden up on that stage -- just unidentifiable behind a mask and sounding different and much more coherent.”

Dillon also warned that it is possible that during the debate someone looking just like Joe Biden may stumble out onto the stage looking confused and wondering what’s going on. She told the press that would be Moe Biden, Joe Biden’s twin brother whom no one had mentioned until now, and he likes to play jokes like that. Silly old Moe.

BABYLON BEE