Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

If women are upset at Trump’s naughty words, who in the hell bought 80 million copies of 50 Shades of Gray?

Jim Comey answered, “I don’t know,” “I don’t recall,” and “I don’t remember” 236 times while under oath. But he remembered enough to write a book.

President Trump should nominate Hillary Clinton for the next opening on the supreme court. Then he can finally get her investigated.

Not one feminist has defended Sarah Sanders. It seems women’s rights only matter if those women are liberal.

No Border Walls. No voter ID laws. You figured it out yet?

Chelsea Clinton got out of college and got a job at NBC that paid $900,000 per year. Her mom flies around the country speaking out about white privilege.

SOCIALISM: An idea that is so good that it has to be mandatory. Bernie Sanders walks into a bar and yells… “Free drinks for everyone!” looks around and says “Who’s buying?”

What is the difference between an Illegal immigrant and E.T.?    E.T. learned to speak English and went home.

And just like that they went from being against foreign interference in our elections to allowing non-citizens to vote in our elections.

Watching the left come up with schemes to “catch Trump” is like watching Wile E. Coyote trying to catch Road Runner.

President Trump’s wall cost less than the Obamacare website alone. Let that sink in, America.

We are one election away from open borders, socialism, gun confiscation, and full term abortion nationally. We are fighting evil.

They sent more troops and armament to arrest Roger Stone than they sent to defend Benghazi.

60 years ago, Venezuela was 4th on the world economic freedom index. Today, they are 179th and their citizens are dying of starvation. In only 10 years, Venezuela was destroyed by democratic socialism.

Russia donated $0.00 to the Trump campaign.  But Trump was the one investigated!

Nancy Pelosi invited illegal aliens to the State of the Union. President Trump Invited victims of illegal aliens to the State of the Union. Let that sink in.

A socialist is basically a communist who doesn’t have the power to take everything from their citizens at gunpoint … Yet!

How do you walk 3,000 miles across Mexico without food or support and show up at our border 100 pounds overweight and with a charged cellphone?

Alexandria Ocasio Cortez wants to ban cars, ban planes, give out universal income and thinks socialism works. She calls Donald Trump crazy.

Bill Clinton paid $850,000 to Paula Jones To get her to go away. I don’t remember the FBI raiding his lawyer’s office.

I wake up every day and I am grateful that Hillary Clinton is not the President of the United States of America.

The same media that told me Hillary Clinton had a 95% chance of winning now tells me Trump’s approval ratings are low.

“The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”— Margaret Thatcher

Maxine Waters opposes voter ID laws; She thinks that they are racist. You need to have a photo ID to attend her town hall meetings.

Trump — They’re not after me. They’re after you.