Math Destruction:

A public school teacher, was arrested today, at John F. Kennedy International airport, as he attempted to board a flight, while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder, said he believes the man could be a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

He did not identify the man - charged by the FBI - with carrying weapons of math instruction.

'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents, in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and, refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator, of the axis of medieval, with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."