SATIRE: Nobel Committee Asks Obama “Nicely” To Return Peace Prize
Nobel Committee Asks Obama “Nicely” To Return Peace Prize
By NORM DE PLEUME
Thorbjorn Jagland, chairman of the Nobel Peace Prize Committee, said today that President Obama “really ought to consider” returning his Nobel Peace Prize Medal immediately, including the “really nice” case it came in.
Jagland, flanked by the other four members of the Committee, said they’d never before asked for the return of a Peace Prize, “even from a damnable war-criminal like Kissinger,” but that the 10% drawdown in US troops in Afghanistan the President announced last week capped a period of “non-Peace-Prize-winner-type behavior” in 2011.
“Guantanamo’s still open. There's bombing Libya. There's blowing bin Laden away rather than putting him on trial. Now a few US troops go home, but the US will be occupying Afghanistan until 2014 and beyond. Don’t even get me started on Yemen!”
The Committee awarded Obama the coveted prize in 2009 after he made a series of speeches in the first months of his presidency, which convinced the Peace Prize Committee that he was: “creating a new climate of...multilateral diplomacy...an emphasis on the role of the United Nations...of dialogue and negotiations as instruments for resolving international conflicts...and a vision of world free of nuclear arms.”
“Boy oh boy!” added Jagland. “Did we regret that press release!”
Thorbjorn Jagland and members of the Nobel Peace Prize Committee
celebrate Norway's annual aquavit-tasting festival yesterday
But, he revealed the committee members were all “legless drunk” the day they voted, as it was the start of Norway’s annual aquavit-tasting festival. The “totally toasted” members listened over and over to replays of Obama’s Cairo speech, tearing up and drinking shots to the glorious future: a black man leading America and the world into a new era of peace, hope and goodwill. “For a few hours we were all 18 year-old students again at the beautiful, occasionally sunny University of Bergen! Oh, how we cried for joy!”
The chairman said the committee weren’t “going to be pills” about getting the Prize back because they still “basically really liked” Mr. Obama and that sending it back in a plain package by regular mail would fine if it would save him the embarrassment of a public return. But added Jagland, “things could get nasty” if the committee didn’t see it by the time they announce the new Peace Prize winner in the fall. He and the committee then excused themselves to resume their celebration of Norway’s annual aquavit-tasting festival.
The White House had no comment. It later announced an aggressive new covert CIA initiative to identify and apprehend Al Qaeda operatives in Scandinavia.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
See also: http://impeachobama2013.blogspot.com/
Comment
-
Comment by DTOM on August 29, 2014 at 4:10pm
-
This is a satirical piece by 'The Final Edition', so the post header has been modified with the addition of 'SATIRE" so that this cannot be misconstrued as factual information.
SOURCE: http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/nobel-committee-asks-obama-n...
"Destroying the New World Order"
THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING THE SITE!
Latest Activity
- Top News
- Everything
Charlie Kirk Was Terrified Of Israel
Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.
"The internet is fractioned that's for sure but it never sleeps and the big question of the day…"
"It seems America has many meanings to many people. The internet has fractioned everybody. I had…"
"Cheeki kea I'm glad that the giant Moa downsized to this turkey looking land walker.!"
"I don't know what difference if any that he was also a member of Council for National Policy.…"
"I remember when they found out that the united Council of Churches worldwide had been funding…"
Charlie Kirk Assaination
September 10th 2025 in Utah Turning Point USA CEO has been assassinated. Coincidentally, answering…See More
Bow to Your New Masters
Dr. Jerome Corsi reports that the discovery of a new wireless system that can corrupt any…See More
"Wow I never knew penguins got down sized also over time. I knew of the Moa which is really now a…"
Civalyze meme
meme ad for a fake drug that would do away with black fatiguecivilyze you're not racist your just exhausted
Is the Timing of Alex Jones and Charlie Sheen Connected?
Alex Jones is sperging out.Charlie Sheen is coming out of the closet.Is this why Alex Jones is…See More
Buying the Last haunted House on the Left (A partial autobiography)
Note to the reader, there are events here that are true and some that are fictional.Chapter IIt was…See More
In Memory of Those Who Served
Bullets flew and ricochetedI was on that hill todayMy Company commander got blown awayI was on…See More
"cheeki kea I was wrong Emperor Penguins are big and powerful but still alive but this,
A size…"
"Cheeki kea here's another that they say there have been modern sightings of!
The name of…"
"cheeki kea, did you ever hear of the giant Imperial Penguins? They were about 6 feet tall and could…"
"cheeki kea I do not think these giant two legged birds would need to have a bad attitude as long as…"
© 2025 Created by truth.
Powered by
You need to be a member of 12160 Social Network to add comments!
Join 12160 Social Network