You thought your fate was under your control
Captain Reality will take his toll
Tanning is good for the soul
That's how you got that cancerous mole,

You've been married for a while
You think she is happy with your style
You pick up her phone and hit redial
A man's voice asks when will the divorce be filed,

You feel your world come caving in
You realize it's just an uncontrolled sin
Captain Reality flashed you a grin
You trusted her never asking where she'd been,

A farmer's out working with his tractor
Just like a black and white screen actor
An underground nest of yellow jackers is a factor
They swarm him with a poisonous disaster,

Captain Realty lets out a laugh
He needs no working staff
He'll make you feel like you just birthed a calf
Tragedy always inspires his gaffe,

You're a test pilot on a brand new plane
New generation fighter it's insane
For all these years you've trained
Captain Reality makes sure it will all be in vain!

Then the drag shoot deploys in mid-flight
You're at Mach 2 this can't be right!
The controls are frozen locked tight
Captain Reality scans the debris field with delight,

You're part of the jet set or so it seems
You're rich beyond your wildest dreams
You get a call from an FBI investigation team
They find your body at the suicide crime scene,

Captain Reality laughs and slaps his knee
It all never ceases to be so funny
He just loves to sabotage that milk and honey
Laying a trap for you using the Easter Bunny,

You're so proud you bought that old house
Rennovation was tricky but it pleased your spouse
Captain Reality sneaks in quiet as a mouse
Now it's a haven for phantoms and demons to joust!

You're a policeman you've always been an honest guy
Criminal activity and activist attacks have been high
Captain Reality never stops to wonder why
As a drug cartel thug buries his blade in your thigh,

Captain Reality is the fate you can't deny
You can go ahead and scream and cry
Sooner or later our luck will pass us by
Trouble is just the gleam in his eye.