You're out to dinner with your girl friend
Some terrorist with a knife! Looks like the end
The police apologize for what you've just been through
Captain Reality is snearing at you,

You're sweating out a completion deadline at work
Your boss is a monumental jerk
You're in line when a robber points his gun at the clerk!
Captain Reality strolls in with a great big smirk,

You're at the park watching your kid's ballgame
The skies darken then there's thunder and rain
A bolt of lighting striking the field
Game cancellation delivered and sealed,

Captain Reality has a big sword to wield
He strikes just like Thor's hammer and shield
Think of all those times you were weak and kneeled
These days thugs will even go to church to steal,

You're hiking on a popular trail
You're friend's gone missing his name was Dale
Now a huge search and rescue party comes in
Captain Reality looks on with a satisfied grin,

You're elite unit by chopper is being dropped in
Suddenly you're knocked over like a bowling pin
Friendly fighter bombers came in low off the deck
Captain Reality slaps his knee it was funny as heck!

You tried to use your credit card it's charged up to the hilt
That blonde scammed you good that one that was really built
Captain Reality gets a big laugh just watching you wilt
Now you find your wife's been cheating and she feels no guilt!

Captain Reality has really got you pegged
That was your car that the teenagers egged
"Come back Baby!" You begged and begged
She never thought twice she left you like the plague.