Captain Reality the ultimate buffoon
He will see to your imminent doom
Famous soul singer killed in a hotel room
By a prostitute with a heroin spoon,

You’re in a new office building with a 13th Floor
Suddenly flames and smoke come through the elevator door
Tragedy, that’s what Captain Reality adores
Harmony is such a terrible bore,

It’s Captain Reality’s curse of thirteen
Anything can happen, know what I mean?
From drought to depression when times get lean
Captain Reality has an attitude you can consider unclean,

Our messiah sat down to supper among a group of thirteen
He was betrayed then Roman soldiers arrived on the scene
King George of England declared war on the 13 Colonies
But Great Britain was defeated on the land and the sea,

Thirteen of Satan’s minions are in a witch’s coven
Captain Reality burned them at the stake like dinner in an oven
Thirteen steps to the gallows pole
Captain Reality plays the executioner’s role,

Yes thirteen is a superstitious number
Keep one eye open even in slumber
13 full moons in the course of a year
Captain Reality instills his own brand of fear,

Captain Reality and the curse of thirteen
He’s unforgiving and flat out mean
From all this tragedy what can we glean?
Captain Reality is fate yet unseen.