Dog Identifies As Genderfluid To Avoid Getting Neutered

PORTLAND, OR—LGBTQ+ activists are praising Spot, as Spot is the world's first genderfluid dog. Spot came to the realization he's genderfluid after his owner announced they would be going to the vet to get neutered.

"Neutered? What's that? Oh boy! Sounds fun! Ball!" Spot said. But then he came across some promotional material for the vet's services his owner had left on the coffee table, and Spot was horrified. "No more ball! No more ball!"

"Oh no! Oh no! Not good! Not good!" he said, frantically trying to think of some way to avoid the painful castration procedure. Finally, Spot figured it out. Spot decided to announce he was genderfluid. Spot donned a feminine wig, masculine mustache, and some Elton John glasses and declared he did not identify as a creature with reproductive organs in need of removal.

"Our hands are tied," the vet said after examining Spot, who now goes as Spork. "This dog does not identify as a male, so we can no longer provide this service." Spot-now-Spork was given a treat and sent him home and told he was a "Good non-gender-conforming individual."

See Spork embrace identity politics to get attention and get ahead in life? Good Spork.

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Comment by Parrhesia on September 12, 2019 at 4:21pm

That would probably work in Portland.

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