Eyes as Black as Coal

Met an extraterrestrial on a midnight stroll

Was walking along and felt like I fell into a black hole

Little guys with huge heads and eyes as black as coal

After the medical procedure I wondered if they even had souls,

Going to wrestle with Mister Sandman tonight

Maybe I’ll stay asleep until daybreak if I win the fight

Struggling against this insanity with all my might

Told our incompetent, senile, president to go fly a kite,

They say war is coming and shortages are already here

While the useful idiots raise another glass of beer

The aging actress in a bikini just held another premier

According to all the feminazis men are not welcome here,

Ran into an old friend who was in the armed service

Due to all the medication he’s on he seemed a little nervous

We all seem to be okay on the surface

But it appears that life has done most of us a disservice,

A transgender pilot at the controls and the passenger jet crashes

The T.S. engineer on the train was texting about his eyelashes

When his train derailed it generated bright flashes

LGBT quarrels tend to leave bloody gashes,

I’m leaving for Antarctica I really need to chill

Tired of relationships being a test of wills

Perhaps a frozen continent will bring a few thrills

Today political offices are run by leftist billionaire shills,

Was driving late last night when I thought I hit a cat

Stopped the car to check it out never saw anything like that

Suddenly it jumped off the pavement and bit me like a rat

Now I’m a werewolf hanging upside down like a bat.