Five Reasons Israel Blocks Items from Entering Gaza that You Thought were Safe – (Satire)

1. Musical instruments

Let's face it, nothing annoys anyone more than neighbors that play their music too loud.

During the Vietnam war the U.S. Would use frequency generators and amplifiers to play 'the brown note' into the V.C. tunnels before sending in the tunnel rats. The tunnel rats were soldiers who would enter the tunnels and hunt the V.C. who they would come upon while they were experiencing explosive diareah, the effect of the frequency called 'the brown note'Just imagine how things would go sour for you if you were an IDF soldier kicking down a door in Gaza and suddenly the terrorist family of Hamas supporters living there smacks you in the face with the Macarena played on the accordion, bagpipes, and a cowbell. You'd be pooping your mamma's matsa balls in your pants before you'd even digested them.

Musical instruments are obviously serious weapons of mass pant pooping.

2. Crayons

The young whipper snapper millennials will never understand but some of us grew up watching the world's greatest educational programming, Loony Tunes. We might not remember the preamble to the constitution without singing it the 'Schoolhouse Rock' way that hit us in between cartoons but we sure as hell remember how drawing a train tunnel in a cliff face can bring a train out to try and run over our enemies (just don't try to enter the tunnel yourself) and a hole drawn on the ceiling can drop an acme anvil on top of someone's head.

Physics can be weird. Thank God Loony Tunes has taught us the way.

,.. and the word.

3. Cookies

Cookies are a great treat unless they are burnt. That wouldn't happen in a metal shipping container under the middle eastern sun would it? Of course it would. Even famous Amos isn't as black as the cookies shipped into Gaza.

I bet you think these briquets would only sadden the children of Gaza, but you'd be wrong. You see, not only are these cookies as black as a politician's morals, they are also hard as a rock and Palestinian children often throw rocks at Israeli soldiers. It's obviously better if Hamas Jr has to use native Palastinian rocks because at least that way Israel gets more of their land even if it's only one stone at a time.

Even if that's not enough evidence to wake you up to cookie dangers, check out this News report about Iran's female ninja warriors.

None of the news anchors even noticed when reporting this story but Hamas friendlly Iran has really excelled in weaponized cookie development.

4. Fishing rods

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man how to build cybernetic weaponized sharks and you've given him a way to kill you.

The advances in genetic science and robotics are coming to life even as we speak. With just a Roomba and some genetic samples taken from the ocean even you could do it in your basement. I mean not like now, or actually you but, you know,... if you were actually smart.

Even if you have no enemies just try to tell me you wouldn't want a sleek toothy death machine of a land shark like this parked in your garage. I knew you couldn't.

5. Industrial margarine

Thanks to this Palestinian nursery rhyme Israel has had to block butter shipments into Gaza for hundreds of years.

'Betty Ahmad bought some butter, but, she said, The butter's bitter; If I put it in my jihad, It will make my jihad bitter. But, a bit of better butter will make my jihad better. So, she bought a bit of butter better than her bitter butter, and she put it in her jihad and the jihad was not bitter. So, twas better Betty Ahmad bought a bit of better anti-semitism.'

Try saying that without one of their forked Arab tongues!

Although margarine has been around for hundreds of years it gained a much greater market share in the 1980s and this is where things get terroristy. That was at the same time as miracle toast started to appear throughout the United States. A coincidence? Doubtful.


Surely you BDS freaks think it's silly to ban a divine miracle from Gaza but who are God's chosen people? Is it them? Is it you? Is it the Chinese? Is it the left handed lesbian Eskimo midget albinos? No way Jose!

Views: 300

Comment

You need to be a member of 12160 Social Network to add comments!

Join 12160 Social Network

"Destroying the New World Order"

TOP CONTENT THIS WEEK

THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING THE SITE!

mobile page

12160.info/m

12160 Administrators

 

Latest Activity

Burbia posted a discussion

Trump Receives Marching Orders

Netanyahu has made 3 visits to the White house since Trump's second term as President of the United…See More
39 minutes ago
Burbia commented on Burbia's video
Thumbnail

Ben Shapiro Just LOST HIS MIND — There's No Coming Back From This

"Omg. The Ben Shapiro voice that Luke is imitating here couldn't be any more comedic to…"
8 hours ago
Burbia posted a video

Ben Shapiro Just LOST HIS MIND — There's No Coming Back From This

Get the magnesium your body needs - https://wearechange.shop/product/magnesium-glycinate/Ben Shapiro Just LOST HIS MIND — There's No Coming Back From ThisHig...
9 hours ago
cheeki kea posted photos
18 hours ago
Doc Vega posted blog posts
yesterday
Burbia posted a video

A few reasons I don’t like jews. It’s not complicated.

These are the reasons I became antisemitic. It’s not complicated. Sure, I could go on for days, weeks, months outlining everything, but I don’t need to. This...
Monday
Doc Vega commented on Doc Vega's blog post Unusual Discoveries and Headlines
"Less Prone, Thanks Buddy! I'd like to volunteer as a historical reconstructionist! "
Sunday
Less Prone left a comment for t.me/TheIntelligenceLibrary
"Welcome to a revolutionary concept in public communication, the truth."
Sunday
pohonemas33 team is now a member of 12160 Social Network
Sunday
Less Prone favorited cheeki kea's discussion Tartaria
Sunday
tjdavis's 2 blog posts were featured
Sunday
Doc Vega's 7 blog posts were featured
Sunday
Less Prone commented on Doc Vega's blog post Unusual Discoveries and Headlines
"Some incredible pieces of history!"
Sunday
Less Prone favorited Doc Vega's blog post Unusual Discoveries and Headlines
Sunday
tjdavis posted a blog post
Sunday
Doc Vega posted a blog post

First Week of July 1947 an Inflexion Point for Humanity!

The year is 1947 and sometime around July 4th the anniversary of the birth our nation, when a…See More
Saturday
Doc Vega commented on Doc Vega's blog post Government Issued Wearables? What’s Wrong With this Picture?
"cheeki kea Ha! Good one!"
Friday
tjdavis posted a video

This is Paris Now… You Won’t See This in the Tourist Brochures

In this video, I take you through Marché Barbès and its surrounding neighbourhoods — an area that reflects the modern, complex face of Paris most tourists ne...
Friday
Doc Vega posted a blog post

Trump's Big Beautiful Bill Passes Amidst Democrat Lies About a Tax cut for the Rich Being Averted

AP Photo/Rod Lamkey, Jr.It’s over, folks. President Trump and congressional Republicans aimed to…See More
Thursday
Doc Vega posted blog posts
Jul 2

© 2025   Created by truth.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

content and site copyright 12160.info 2007-2019 - all rights reserved. unless otherwise noted