I have concocted the granddaddy of all get rich quick schemes and I'm going to share it with you ABSOLUTELY FREE! It works like this:
1) Invent a new illness and a treatment for the illness.
2) Give the illness to millions of people without their knowledge (or convince them they have the illness when they really don't).
3) Sell them the treatment at a ridiculously expensive price. (After all, why should they care how much it costs? Their employer-provided insurance or taxpayer funded program will pay for it.)
4) The treatment may or may not ease some symptoms, but it will definitely cause other illnesses (call them "side effects"), just as you designed it to do.
5) Sell the chumps - er... patients - treatments for the "side effects". These treatments will cause more "side effects" for which you can sell more treatments, which will cause still more "side effects", etc.
6) Watch the money roll in.
7) Use the the money to help the global shadow oligarchy reduce the world's population and enslave the people who are left.
Great scheme, huh? I hope someone hasn't thought of it already.
Comment
Don't underestimate the huge profit potential of carefully planned merchandising...
Create a craze, Secure "celebrity" endorsements, Lobby the right congresspersons, Offer preferential stock options to key top-shots in government, eventually assuring your products become mandatory....
Create different lines for different niches, ie. Children's, Adult Only - exploit dysfunctional fears-, Military grade, Alternative New Agey Spin-offs, etc.
Don't forget seasonal specials, What's for Xmas?
Patent everything... everywhere ... and sue knock offs mercilessly
Prepare for eventual IPO at ridiculously high pricing and later on over-hype your scheme as "to big to fail" and get Quantitative Easing Rescue
you forgot to partner with a medical test lab and charge them a hefty commission for each "customer" you refer to them.
Hope you haven't been a victim of the white mafia lately
Secretly create the problem (civil unrest) that begs for the solution that you desire (gun control via martial law) and then come running shouting the good news-- and look like the hero all the while (enslaving the masses into mindless cattle to be herded and taken to the slaughterhouse)......
Did I miss anything?
"Destroying the New World Order"
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