Do Not attempt to adjust your dial. We will control the vertical. We will control the horizontal. We can take a blur and sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next hour sit quietly and you will experience the awe and mystery of the Outer Limits!

Since Iran now has enough uranium to make 7 nuclear missiles we can look forward to more of you looking like me in the aftermath! 

Stop lying to me about Bidenomics or I swear I'll bite off another finger!

Every time I think of that four wheeled flame thrower they call an electric car I just want to tell the American people the truth but I can't because I'm a politician! Besides, it burned my ass too! 

The Democrat Congress sent me here to slash the budget for Senior Citizens, US veterans, and the homeless so we can fund more illegal aliens and war with Ukraine and Russia.

Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing with that anti-tank mine? It's meant for them Russkies! 

I don't give a damn about historic lessons, the issues a candidate stands on, or his integrity! I'm a Democrat and I vote for who looks good in the latest fashion and sounds cool while he's lying! 

I don't drink often but when I do I pull an all nighter! 

Houston! I have something to report here! Houston! Can you read me? Okay, well the alien children here are flying kites in the ammonia methane gas clouds! It look's fun and damn it I'm going to join them! 

Damn it! I'm the FBI Director here and I'll decide who trespassed on January 6th and who didn't! 

Oh! It's those Jalapeno peppers again! I'm never going back to a Democrat illegal alien celebration again! 

Okay! Which one of you jerkoffs thinks he's a real fisherman? Go ahead throw in your hook!

Okay, so I listened to Anthony Blinken and he told me there was no chance we'd get in a war! Just shoot me then! 

You have just experienced  GREAT ADVENTURE, WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR NORMAL PROGRAMMING!