Memorial Day US Army Recruitment Advertisement 2021

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In today's modern Army we teach you to play with others because social justice is our credo! 

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My two uncles who were always playing under the covers and had a big can of Crisco in their bedroom encouraged me to explore my own personal meaning. So here I am in the Army!

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In the modern day US Army military police must be tough and savvy so we can maintain law and order on the bases! When terrorism strikes we can always negotiate a solution!

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Of course in cases of repeated disciplinary issues a little S&M may be necessary so the modern day US Army infantry must have stout orifices! 

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The new modern US Army is not blind to fashion trends that enhance our social acceptance. We are sure that our enemies will respect this too!

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In today's modern US military you can be assured that your gender reassignment surgery will be paid for with taxpayers dollars! The term, "Yes Sir!" Will no longer be relevant.

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Do Russian and Chinese regular infantry know the meaning of tough? We here in the modern US Army are ready to reveal our capabilities! 

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Just remember, your new superior officer will be a touchy feely kind of leader! 

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I had no idea what I really wanted for my life until I took a look at the new US Army, and boy am I grateful! Would you hand me my makeup please?

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We're always ready for the call of duty! 

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In remembrance of our fallen predecessors we fly the colors of our allegiance! Uh huh!

This public service message has been brought to you by the Transgender Uniform Compliance Association.

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