My Former Sugar Plum

Santa is on his way he’s surely on his way

That’s just what I hear them say

All good cheer come what may

Looking forward to Christmas Day,

Santa if you will it would give me such a thrill

Just one sweet single woman you can even call her Jill,

Sliding through the snow

Despite the climate change I know

Forget the carbon tax, reindeer can really go

Generosity must be a capitalistic show,

A warm fireplace on Christmas eve

Forcing the environmentalists to leave

No global warming convention for a reprieve

Goodwill to all socialists, a concept they can’t conceive,

Santa if you will it would give me such a thrill

Just one sweet single woman you can even call her Jill,

Break out the sherry and buttered rum

For once we’ll overlook the globalist scum

Listen to that toy soldier beating on his drum

Memories of the past and my former sugar plum,

Though the missile toe is hanging there

Can’t seem to find anyone who cares

Waiting up for Santa and hugging polar bears

Be sure to say Merry Christmas even if you dare,

The joy of Christmas just comes once a year

It overcomes the sadness of crying in your beer

The true spirit of giving that brings out that cheer

Santa’s sleigh runs on magic without fossil fuel or gears,

Santa if you will it would give me such a thrill

Just one sweet single lady for whom my heart beats still.