SATIRE: Nobel Committee Asks Obama “Nicely” To Return Peace Prize
Nobel Committee Asks Obama “Nicely” To Return Peace Prize
By NORM DE PLEUME
Thorbjorn Jagland, chairman of the Nobel Peace Prize Committee, said today that President Obama “really ought to consider” returning his Nobel Peace Prize Medal immediately, including the “really nice” case it came in.
Jagland, flanked by the other four members of the Committee, said they’d never before asked for the return of a Peace Prize, “even from a damnable war-criminal like Kissinger,” but that the 10% drawdown in US troops in Afghanistan the President announced last week capped a period of “non-Peace-Prize-winner-type behavior” in 2011.
“Guantanamo’s still open. There's bombing Libya. There's blowing bin Laden away rather than putting him on trial. Now a few US troops go home, but the US will be occupying Afghanistan until 2014 and beyond. Don’t even get me started on Yemen!”
The Committee awarded Obama the coveted prize in 2009 after he made a series of speeches in the first months of his presidency, which convinced the Peace Prize Committee that he was: “creating a new climate of...multilateral diplomacy...an emphasis on the role of the United Nations...of dialogue and negotiations as instruments for resolving international conflicts...and a vision of world free of nuclear arms.”
“Boy oh boy!” added Jagland. “Did we regret that press release!”
Thorbjorn Jagland and members of the Nobel Peace Prize Committee
celebrate Norway's annual aquavit-tasting festival yesterday
But, he revealed the committee members were all “legless drunk” the day they voted, as it was the start of Norway’s annual aquavit-tasting festival. The “totally toasted” members listened over and over to replays of Obama’s Cairo speech, tearing up and drinking shots to the glorious future: a black man leading America and the world into a new era of peace, hope and goodwill. “For a few hours we were all 18 year-old students again at the beautiful, occasionally sunny University of Bergen! Oh, how we cried for joy!”
The chairman said the committee weren’t “going to be pills” about getting the Prize back because they still “basically really liked” Mr. Obama and that sending it back in a plain package by regular mail would fine if it would save him the embarrassment of a public return. But added Jagland, “things could get nasty” if the committee didn’t see it by the time they announce the new Peace Prize winner in the fall. He and the committee then excused themselves to resume their celebration of Norway’s annual aquavit-tasting festival.
The White House had no comment. It later announced an aggressive new covert CIA initiative to identify and apprehend Al Qaeda operatives in Scandinavia.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
See also: http://impeachobama2013.blogspot.com/
Comment
-
Comment by DTOM on August 29, 2014 at 4:10pm
-
This is a satirical piece by 'The Final Edition', so the post header has been modified with the addition of 'SATIRE" so that this cannot be misconstrued as factual information.
SOURCE: http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/nobel-committee-asks-obama-n...
"Destroying the New World Order"
THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING THE SITE!
Latest Activity
- Top News
- Everything
"EVERYONE'S BEEN SHOT UP HERE": Arsonists Set Wildfire In Idaho, Open Fire On Firefighters, Police
- Shocking news just broke that multiple firefighters and officers were shot in an ambush at the Canfield Mountain Natural Area in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.Acco...
Well Known Wilderness Photographer Disappears in the Cascades-Guess Why?
In August of 2023 another aficionado of the great outdoors went missing. The chilling revelations…See More
The Draconian Show
Sometimes I talk to my invisible friend, IkeHe comes from another dimension when magnetic fields…See More
"Listen man I know where you're at but back in October of 2023 thru December of 2023 for months…"
Architecton | Official Trailer HD | A24
SUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/A24subscribeWritten and directed by Victor Kossakovsky and starring Michele De Lucchi. ARCHITECTON – Coming Soon RELEASE DATE: Comin...
Genomic Surveillance in the Thrill Kill Medical Cult
SHOW NOTES AND COMMENTS: https://www.corbettreport.com/genomic-surveillance-in-the-thrill-kill-medical-cultZowe Smith of My Life in the Thrill Kill Medical C...
"May get really ugly over there?"
Latest Details on Missile Exchanges Between Iran and Israel
Latest information about the air attacks between Israel and Iran as the US moves another carrier…See More
© 2025 Created by truth.
Powered by
You need to be a member of 12160 Social Network to add comments!
Join 12160 Social Network