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Not Today Not Forever

I thought about it a lot
And it could have become the terminal plot
Would never have considered it I thought
These depressed people who don’t know squat,

Then life took a series of bad turns
Like coffee spilled in your lap from an urn
For the first time I realized it was a concern
It all depends on how many times you get burned,

Should I have thrown myself under the bus?
Then nobody would remember us
Should I lay across the railroad tracks?
Seems like everybody had turned their backs,

Image may contain: one or more people

So what is taking your life anyway?
You might hurt others and make them pay
Hey, do you remember me, hey!
You may have thought you should have stayed,

Image may contain: cloud, sky and outdoor

Like Herman Goering just take that cyanide pill
Wasn’t like you were terminally ill
Wasn’t like you were a criminal who killed
The thought never crossed my mind until,

One failed marriage after another
Women you loved who said you would smother
The loss of a younger brother
If I’d only had my druthers,

I realized how many have had it much worse than I
Those who never had a chance and cried
Betrayed by all those lovers who lied
It’s up to us to think it over and decide,

Image may contain: 1 person, closeup

Never had the thought crossed my mind
I was always strong resilient and kind
Someday there would be true love I could find
But I saw through the illusions and felt maligned,

Then the truth sinks in you’re sight unseen
To your family somehow you’re unclean
To women you want you’ve become obscene
It seems that times have become too lean,

So you wrestle with your state of mind
It’s the historic failure of human kind
You’re enlightened you’re not blind
You thought someday there’d be love you could find.

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