I was in my local supermarket today gathering some essential food items when my partner stopped dead in the isle and started complaining of excruciating and instant nausea. She began pointing in the direction behind me and muttering the
filthiest of profanities.

I turned my head and the source of her illness became immediately apparent, the beady little eyes from a shelf full of Obama gnomes starred sinisterly back at me.

I picked up one of these hideous little creatures for a more detailed inspection, kind of in the way one would handle a piece of dog sh*t, holding with the minimum surface area of the finger tips possible, arms out stretched and pulling a face
of wretched disgust.

On the bottom of the box, a REDUCED sticker, only $6. My mind began to wander in exploration of all the uses one could find for an Obama gnome, I had to buy it.

The back of the box clearly instructs: Not a toy, keep away from children. Apart from the lead paint, is there something so completely evil about this little f*ck that he’s a danger to children? I’m a bit worried about opening the package and
finding out.

If I do gather the courage and pry him out, I will of course be adding some modifications. I have a few ideas for different placards to place in his hand, and then I shall like to place him in opportune locations for photo shoots.

Apparently Air Force 1 is touching down in Australia late next month, with the war monger on board that’s modelled after my little gnome friend. Perhaps I can capture them both together in the same photo frame.