John Newland here for One Step Beyond I never could have believed America would be at the mercy of a dementia ridden old fool who cut a fart in front of the Queen of England, but anyway I have a solution I would like to use this instrument in my hand to give a swat in the head to every fool who supports the Democrat insanity! Believe it or not!

I have inserted lots of mothballs into the wardrobe of a certain old fool who is destroying America in hopes that he'll think they are candy.

I swear to you I thought I was under the influence of some magic mushrooms when I saw what has become of America under the current Deep State run government, but don't worry I've planted an aerosol LSD device in the House of Representatives to give them a new perspective you may believe it or not! 

Nancy Pelosi and I are going to start a brothel in San Francisco using the dried human feces on the sidewalks as aphrodisiacs! Would you like to be our first customer?

Honey, I know you don't like Joe Biden touching you but he gave us 1 million dollars just for one  night with you surely you can put up with it.

I'm recommending to all American people as part of my presidency to mask up and prepare for then next Covid variant. I'm in touch with the Pfizer team now to find out when to expect its arrival here in the US.

Hunter gave me this helmet and told me to breath deep when he blows in the special fairy dust. He said it will make it easier for me to take my clothes off then.

You were stupid enough to leave that bottle of cocaine in the White House so we covered your ass again! You owe us big time Hunter Boy! 

I can't believe an American president who is black and sleeping with another man dressed as a woman on a White House bed actually happened! God, please put me back in my coma!

Thanks to the Biden family Word War III has been unleashed! Those assholes just wouldn't stop! 

Did you Americans actually think we Mexicans would treat a US citizen with respect when coming here just because you welcome illegal immigrants across your borders? God, you Americans are so gullible! 

I'm so excited tickets to Epstein's Island! I wonder what kinds of attractions they have there?

Oh God if I have to listen to another Joe Biden speech I think I'll go mad! 

You should have seen the chaos that occurred once that cloud of LSD wafted over the House of representatives man it was a gas! 

Another dead chef from the Obama's personal kitchen? This shit is getting monotonous!

Please bear with me when I say this is about all I can stomach for now. Believe it or not!