**SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER READS:**
We will heel you.
We will save your sole.
We will even dye for you.

**A SIGN ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK:**
Blind man driving.

**Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:**
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

**In a Podiatrist's office:**
"Time wounds all heels.

**On a Septic Tank Truck**:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels.

**At an Optometrist's Office**:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place.

**On a Plumber's truck**:
"We repair what your husband fixed.

**On another Plumber's truck**:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

**At a Tyre Shop in Milwaukee**:
"Invite us to your next blowout.

**On an Electrician's truck**:
"Let us remove your shorts.

**In a Non-smoking Area:**
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.

**On a Maternity Room door**:
"Push. Push. Push.

**At a Car Dealership**:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.

**Outside a Muffler Shop:**
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

**In a Veterinarian's waiting room**:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

**At the Electric Company:**
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.
However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.

**In a Restaurant window:**
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.

**In the front yard of a Funeral Home**:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait.

**At a Propane Filling Station:**
"Thank Heaven for little grills.

**In a Chicago Radiator Shop:**
"Best place in town to take a leak.

**And the best one for last;**
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises