This article is dedicated to exposing the dreadful truth about the supposed work of fiction “The Lord of the Rings”, and the true identities of the supposed stars of this sham of a film!

This is no mere story dreamt up by an English writer, this is the true actions of a group of incredibly noble and brave people, captured on hidden cameras that were put in place by an evil wannabe dictator in a bid to capture and brainwash all of Middle-earth.

In short, The Lord of the Rings was a true life story of sacrifice and love, but instead of being celebrated and rewarded, the participants of this heroic journey have been brainwashed into taking the place of actors, and shamelessly promoting this incredible falsehood... that Middle-earth is merely fantasy.

Acting governments and movie representatives have so far cleverly concealed this foul plot. But no more, for we are here to correct all of the lies and conspiracies, we know the real truth and the real people…. We know this because we were there.

My name is Diamond of Long Cleeve, and my dear friend and fellow webmaster is called Tobias Proudfoot. Along with a handful of others, we managed to escape Middle-earth before being captured, and have fled to the UK in order to gather helpers so that we may eventually reclaim our beloved friends and homeland.

The Middle-earth realm called The Shire, where Peter Jackson captured much of his documentary.

Our home is not known as Middle-earth anymore, for years it has been called “New Zealand”, a disguise suggested to us by Earths communal government “for our protection”, they said, “against those who would not understand you”. You see, New Zealand is home to many fantastical species of life, far more unique and powerful than in the rest of the world, and it was thought best to keep the knowledge of our races to a bare minimum.

To this day I am not sure why, we are not violent by nature, or no more than the rest of you, and we have many traditions and cultures that would benefit the world greatly to see. For example, I am from the race you will know from the film as "hobbits", and although we are not as “fast paced” or advanced as the great western world that I am now forced to hide in, there is far more kindness and earthly knowledge in one of our babies than in an entire country of the outside world.

But I digress, the kidnapping didn’t happen all at once, so it was hard for anyone to realise what was truly going on, what Peter Jackson really intended for us. I first met Jackson in the village of Bree, he was in disguise, staggering aimlessly up and down the streets trying to sell a meagre handful of carrots. We took pity on him and invited him to join us for supper in the Prancing Pony Inn, this was our first mistake. Over time my family and I began to see him often: he would sit and talk to my husband, Peregrin Took, and praise Middle-earth for its beauty. He told us he would fight the governments of the world to finally have the truth of our existence told, and to do this he would shoot a documentary of our lifestyle and culture.

I believe it was around this time that actors were beginning to disappear from the outside world. Looking back I realise how foolish we were to believe his lies, all he saw was the vast amounts of money to be made from dressing up his documentaries as films, and by making Middle-earth a tourist trap for obsessed fans.

The "New Zealand" tourist board making a mockery of the truth!
(Not to mention the fact that Mount Doom is a place of evil and should be avoided by tourists at all costs!)

It wasn’t long before people started to disappear, family and friends just vanished, and before we knew it our quiet land was being ransacked by Jacksons goons. A few of us managed to make it safely to renegade boats and were able to flee across the oceans.

When I arrived I instantly started to look for my family; my husband Pippin, and my son Faramir. But what I discovered was more disturbing than I ever could have imagined! My husband had been brainwashed into thinking he was the Scottish actor Billy Boyd, who had been reported missing, along with many other actors, by the authorities. Not only is my love promoting his own life story as a work of fiction, but he has no memory of his previous life at all, no idea of his true identity. He follows every command that Jackson issues!