Unfamiliar Journey

My favorite pet raptor got gonorrhea
Had to call my friend to say, "Today can't see yuh."
Got to find some kind of panacea
Give my regards to Woody and Mia,

I said, " In Jurassic Park you were bad to the bone."
And he replied, "I really prefer cranberry scones."
He said, "Please don't let anybody disturb my bones."
And he added, "I just want to fade away unlike the Rolling Stones."

How has my life progressed since you left me?
Sadly, not too satisfactorily
Seems like no entity wants me
Even a fool wants to be wanted by somebody,

Welcome mats are everywhere not the way you think
Few lovers are ever really in sync
Unconditional love is definitely on the brink
The number of those making a commitment shrinks,

I was at a UFO crash site the other day
I just didn't know really what to say
The little greys with big heads are ambivalent anyway
They asked me where does Jesus stay?

"I can't speak for the rest of mankind."
"You see I feel like I'm flying blind."
"Wow! " they replied telepathically. "Wouldn't that be an archaeological find."
"I'm here, but the government's put me in a bind."

Back at the alien alligator farm
A gesture that did me little harm
I was forced to sound the alarm!
When a gator produced a concealed firearm,

I tried to maintain my composure
And the beast made an indecent disclosure
When confronted he crawled to a Democrat enclosure
An incident that had been averted for sure,

I tried to force myself to listen to the president
Yet he was insane this was quite evident
I fear America is headed for another tragic event
At least my pet Velociraptor seemed content,

When journeying through unfamiliar territory
I think of all the tragically funny stories
All of those unsung heroes who never knew glory
But those black and white horror movies weren't that gory,

If the Wolfman loses his teeth he'll gum you
Of poor werewolf dental health I take a dim view
My collection of Civil War cards has grown mildew
But, in all this who really cares? A very few,

The Night Stalker showed up at the old X-15 test range
I sincerely considered this to be quite strange
I was distracted as my hyper glide vehicle stalled at the interchange
And I'd just filled the cockpit with fiat currency for the exchange,

Luckily, I kept everything intact
Me and the Bavarian cannibals had made a pact
A Typical Deep State deal in fact
Luckily, I was able to overcome all that the psychedelics lacked.