Venezuela Praised For Achieving World's First Zero-Hour Work Week

CARACAS—Socialist Venezuela has received praise from various leftist groups across the globe for achieving the world's first-ever zero-hour work week.

France was getting close with its 8-hour work week, but Venezuela blew it away by finally achieving a work week of just zero hours.

"Workers in oppressed America have to work 40 hours a week sometimes," President Nicolás Maduro said in a press conference. "Here in Venezuela, you don't work at all. There are no jobs. Also no food or money. Please send help."

Bernie Sanders offered words of praise for the accomplishment. "Finally, Venezuela has shown how socialism can work by making sure its people can't, because there are no oppressive jobs. We must do better to make sure billionaires and corporations stop oppressing Americans by offering them places to work and earn money."

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez also praised the achievement: "Zero hours is a lot less than, like, 40 hours. Or even 12 hours. I have to work like 10 hours, plus Twitter time, and that's really a lot. I'd prefer zero hours. Good job, Venezuela!"

All 12,582 Democratic presidential candidates quickly came out in favor of zero-hour work week policies for their platforms as well, vowing to kill all the jobs created by the booming economy in America.

Trump reportedly became jealous of Venezuela's accomplishments and sulked in the Oval Office for close to an hour, shrugging and saying "Whatever" to everything aides said to him.

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Comment by Chris of the family Masters on September 24, 2019 at 11:21pm

They've been trying to push cash ban in Australia. So far we hold them at bay. Cash ban would have resulted banks (bankrupt all of them) charging for the electron storage i.e negative interest rates. World has gone bonkers. 

Comment by Less Prone on September 24, 2019 at 7:37pm

Why stop at zero? Let's head for the negative zone.

Comment by Ragnarok on September 20, 2019 at 4:03pm

LOL, good humor. 

Comment by James Roberts on September 20, 2019 at 11:34am

Socialism definitely sucks, but so do the sanctions. I think most on the right underestimate the damage the sanctions have done. Don't forget, President Swamp Thing appointed Eliot Abrams as the Special Envoy for Venzuela.  The whole point of sanctions is to make life so hard for the common people that they overthrow their govt. Regime change, in other words. Let the Venezuelans make their own mistakes.

Comment by Twilight Zone on September 20, 2019 at 10:39am

Sweettina2,  I think these people would be happy to work, if there were jobs.  

Comment by Sweettina2 on September 20, 2019 at 10:26am

And everyone starves together, singing Kumbaya. Scripture says if a man doesn't work, he doesn't eat. I've worked since I was almost 12yo, I have no pity for lazy people.

Comment by Twilight Zone on September 19, 2019 at 7:37pm

Finally, equality has been achieved!   Except Maduro and his associates - see socialism also has a 1%.

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