Original Humor Inspired by Tommy's group The Chuckle Hut :)

So here goes...

You might be a conspiracy theorist if...

you think the moon is a hollow space station made of interstellar cheese

you check the labels on everything you buy for msg, aspartame, mono sodium glutamate, hydrolyzed protein, HFCS, and gluten, but when you get to the checkout you buy a pack of cigarettes

you think Alex Jones is a "gatekeeper" or "controlled opposition" yet you distribute his materials and information

you quote Morpheus so often that people think when you are giving your spiel that you are talking about a new Matrix movie

you're so paranoid, that you become paranoid of your paranoia

you can name every Illuminati bloodline yet you can only trace your own lineage as far back as the family members you have met

you're so paranoid, that you become paranoid of your paranoia -- and then smoke another bowl

you have more guns than you have matching pairs of socks

after reading half a web page, you form a belief and then change it after reading the other half of the webpage

you watch the super bowl to see if you can decipher the subliminal messages in the commercial advertisements

you brought a shortwave radio with you on your honeymoon to the Bahamas

you thumbs up a blog posting exposing water fluoridation while drinking a big gulp of tap water

every time you see a picture of Rudolf Giuliani you think of Nosferatu

you think "they" are out to get you but you NEVER leave the house

the person you live with has let you use their credit card to order "conspiracy materials" online so that it can never be traced back to you

while making your own storable food you curse at the Mason Jars

you keep farting in bed after your wife served you beans for dinner and then makes you sleep on the couch. all you can think about before going to sleep is hegelian dialectic

Christmas stocking stuffers consist of burned copies of your favorite documentaries and pocket constitutions

to cure your insomnia you lay in bed counting the sheople you can't wake up

while purchasing a plane ticket online you thought of the TSA and shopped prices for strap ons

you shop at an organic food store with an EBT card

you've ever called an anti-terrorist hotline to see if THEY act suspicous

you've ever passed through airport security with militia members wearing t-shirts that say (click here)

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Man did I have fun with this. Lol that's all I got for now. Feel free to jump in and come up with some of your own!