Physicists Prove Classical Music Inhabits Separate Realm, Inaccessible To Humans
Image credit: GENEVA—Physicists affiliated with the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN) released a report Wednesday revealing that classical music exists in a field of reality entirely removed from the four-dimensional spacetime inhabited by human beings.
Scientists were performing a routine search for fifth-dimensional activity using the Large Hadron Collider, the immense particle accelerator famous for proving the existence of the Higgs Boson, when they came across the entire corpus of Western classical music from 9th-century plainchant to Nico Muhly.
According to the report, the innumerable works making up this body of repertoire exist in a continuum that resides just beyond the limits of human perception.
“Classical music transcends both the linear, forward flow of time and the Euclidean space we are used to,” said Rolf-Dieter Heuer, the director general of CERN. “A musical work is a mysterious entity whose essence totally eludes our senses.”
Physicists claim that any given performance or recording of a classical music piece is a kind of audible hologram projected into our everyday reality by the true musical work, which vibrates eternally in an ethereal medium floating in and around us at all times.
“Think about Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony. Sure, maybe you’ve looked at the score, and maybe you’ve heard this or that orchestra play it. But have you ever encountered it in its pure form?” Heuer askedkeep on reading here ... it gets cooler
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Anti Everything on
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This causes me more questions then answers. Fascinating.
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Permalink Reply by Sweettina2 on
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Hmmm, very interesting!
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Permalink Reply by Less Prone on
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Everything vibrates in the nature; electrons bounce around the atomic nucleus, atoms bump around due to heat, photons and radio waves trespass the universe, celestial bodies pass around by the force of gravitation, the earth revolves around its axis once a day, the moon revolves around the earth once a month, the earth revolves around the sun once a year, the solar system revolves around the galactic centre once a galactic year (250 million years)... everything in moving around in a perfect symphony.
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Permalink Reply by Burbia on
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Ok, i see the irony. Beethoven's Fifth Symphony and the search for the fifth dimension with CERN, that's kinda funny. Expect an assault from the extra-dimensions for the Beliebers dedication.
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Permalink Reply by Deep Space on
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This article is annoyingly vague.
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After reading more of this web site it seems obvious to me this is a 'Onion' news type site. Its a joke. So in causing me more questions then answers I went back to the site and studied it with a critical eye... its a joke. Of course you probably knew that.
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